since being diagnosed bp last year my life has crashed my family dont understand bp and have taken no interest was happy driving coaches for a living but in march had licence revoked for 3years when im manic i feal god all around and i feal alive but right now im in a dark place emty numb and no ambition. im only 30 and bored of life nothing excites me its all so gloomy cant get work my days are full of nothing i just excist got pdoc 1oct gfriend cuming wiv me so hope they can help so many negative thoughts running threw my head wish a ray of light would beam upon me and desolve the gloomy cloud over me.also had manic episode in 2000 thought i was jesus man what is going on and when i was in hospital i felt i had been sent two save them i still wonder if bp is god related and when manic we are given full vision cant describe the feeling its so powerful i was only told i was bp last may i thought why was it not mentioned on my first episode horribe time pumped halaperidal into me i was paceing dribleing and my vision was blured there lack of love in this world i believe luv can heal. heal the world make it a better place good old mj the whole world is bipolar good and evil dark side light side. so glad found ds helping me allready