I am facing ECT again in the very near future and I am getting really scared. Last time I had it I had 6 sessions and it changed my life, I improved so much and was alive again. I voluntarily agreed to having it because it was my last resort after 2 years of just about every medication you can name, but as I was so unwell at the time I didnt have the capacity to analyze my decision and think clearly about it. I am very medication resistant and although my current meds have kept me good for a period of time since Christmas I have slowly been going down hill. My Psychiatrist said all along that with my history the meds would only prolong the life of the ECT's effectiveness and when it started to wear off I would need 'maitenence' ECT. Now we are agreeing that the time is soon because I am getting more and more unwell and we want to avoid a complete meltdown. The problem is Im scared out of my mind!! I know all about the memory loss, I had severe shorterm memory loss for the duration off the treatment last time and still have blank areas from the months before and after treatment, although much of 1 year prior to that is gone too because my depression was so severe I was almost catatonic. ANYWAYS my question is has anyone ever been more dpressed after treatment or has it made them worse not better??? Im so scared that I will end up worse and then I will be screwed for life...Please only give me advice if you have real experience with ECT cause I dont want to hear any rumour crap that might/mightnot be true and totally freak me out!
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