Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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Feeling guilty for annoying a friend

fuusheegii
fuusheegii
So a friend of mine told me recently that she has been severely depressed. She told me she could contract for safety, but she was still staying in bed all day, not leaving her apartment etc.

We live pretty far from each other and I'm a loser and don't have a car/license, moreover, the buses don't run out there. So in order to make sure she is/was okay I was texting her every couple days to check up on her. I tried to keep the conversation light, I sent her pictures of cute dogs or motivational pictures, just stuff that I thought (key word here is thought) would help.

After work today I sent her something, it was just a corny "you're awesome!" kind of pic and she told me that I didn't have to keep sending her this stuff and that she would be okay. I apologized for annoying her and she told me it was okay, but I still feel crummy for bothering her.
Community Leaderacuriousfish
acuriousfish
people who are depressed aren't known for being socially gracious, you did your best and for the best intentions - hope you feel better soon
spacekat
spacekat
I agree wholeheartedly with Fish. You tried to help her -- you weren't bent on being annoying! I think you're being too hard on yourself. Good for you for being an awesome friend! (As we already know!)
fuusheegii
fuusheegii
Acuriousfish Thank you, I will be alright, it was just one of those situations where I thought I had the right idea and it just wasn't. I don't blame her for getting annoyed at all.
fuusheegii
fuusheegii
Spacekat, thank you, I just get really worried about her and I know that when you are feeling low you just want to be left alone. Her therapist is back in town so I'm hoping talking to her will make her depression more bearable.

I wouldn't say that I was being an an awesome friend. Or even a good one.
spacekat
spacekat
I hope her depression lifts, too. Good that her therapist is back. And you WERE doing what you thought would help -- hence, being a good friend. Sometimes, we try to do what we think is best and it might not be the best option. But trying to do something nice for someone is being a good friend. (((HUGS)))
theatrediva
theatrediva
Sounds to me like you were being a good friend. You did nothing wfrong. Your friend is depressed so she was unable to appreciate your attempt at lifting her spirits. She may appreciate it more when the depression getss off of her. TYou called yourself a loser for not having a license? Thats not what I see. I see someone who is caring for a friend who is in need. And despite being far away is still reaching out to that friend anyway possible. That is not a loser. Hugs.
got2breal
got2breal
When she feels better she will come around and maybe send you some stuff. Your a good friend. Yeah we can't take things personal I agree with all of everyone else.
MayB
MayB
Hi Fuusheegii,

I think we have all been in that place because we know how bad depression can be.... You were cheering your friend on that's not exactly a bad thing...

How are you feeling? Is the more important question....
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
I agree with fish as well... You have been showing her that you care... She's just not feeling well right now and is unable to appreciate it fully however she probably does appreciate that you care so much even if she isn't up to being social... Big hug...xo
dobiedots
dobiedots
Fuusheegii...why are you being so hard on yourself? STOP!!
You, being a good friend, was concerned for her and trying to cheer her up. There's nothing wrong with that! Your heart is in the right place. When we reach out we don't know how the other person will react...depression is a hard thing. Depressed people will react in different ways, usually not "affectionately". Its part of the depression.
I don't think you annoyed her, she just wasn't in a place to respond to it at this point. You did the right thing! And she'll come around.
MoobbusT
MoobbusT
You're the sort of friend I'd like to have by the sound of it...and I'm not the only one to think so either it would seem.
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