Bipolar Disorder Support Group
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I was in the ER a few nights ago with very swollen legs and arms, in incredible pain. The hospital ruled out blood clots (I have had two before) but they didn't keep me to figure out the cause. I went to my doctor today to find out what is really wrong. My doctor ordered me a ton of blood work and powerful pain pills. I don't known when I'll be able to get back to school. Also, I was wondering if we could work out something for my missing school. I really need to finish this semester.
I can barely keep my eyes open I'm so drugged, but it's worth not being in pain. I don't know what I'll do if I can't finish this semester. I'll lose my mind.
I'm SO depressed I'd be sobbing if the pain pills hadn't made me numb.
My friend is coming over tomorrow to help me clean my apt. I can hardly walk around my tiny apt to do anything. And since I'm so swollen I'm been going to the bathroom a lot.
Why does this always happen to me? Every time I get mentally stable, I get very physically sick. I just want to be a normal, healthy 23 year old. I want to be able to kike again, ride my bike again, rough house with my two little nieces, work out, do my photography for any period of time without being in awful pain. Fuck, I just want to be about to go to the store, shop at the mall, go for a sort walk to the art gallery by my house... But I can't do all of the things I love to do because my body hates me.
My mom didn't even bother to come see when I was in the ER for hours. She was too worried about her own health, which I get, but I end up in the ER more often than I'd like to and my mom NEVER comes to see me. So, every time, I sit alone with no one to comfort me while I'm scared shitless. The doc at the ER put some dilaudid in my IV and I had to stumble out the door and take a bus home when I had no clue what was going on around me. I spoke with my mother today and she said, "OH HUNNY ME AND YOUR STEPDAD WERE GOING TO PICK YOU UP WHEN YOU WERE DONE, YOU MUST NOT HAVE REMEMBERED ME SAYING THAT." I just said, "Yeah, I guess." All she said to me was, "Let me know how things turn out." She never once insinuated that she would pick me up. I am still a little pissed off. She has only come to sit in the ER with me once. ONCE and I've been about 5 times in the past two years. But she only stayed for about 2 mins to bring me something.
Okay, I'm done bitching now and I need to pass out.
Does anyone have tips for dealing with chronic pain issues, or medically issues in general? It would be great to hear that I'm not alone.
I can barely keep my eyes open I'm so drugged, but it's worth not being in pain. I don't know what I'll do if I can't finish this semester. I'll lose my mind.
I'm SO depressed I'd be sobbing if the pain pills hadn't made me numb.
My friend is coming over tomorrow to help me clean my apt. I can hardly walk around my tiny apt to do anything. And since I'm so swollen I'm been going to the bathroom a lot.
Why does this always happen to me? Every time I get mentally stable, I get very physically sick. I just want to be a normal, healthy 23 year old. I want to be able to kike again, ride my bike again, rough house with my two little nieces, work out, do my photography for any period of time without being in awful pain. Fuck, I just want to be about to go to the store, shop at the mall, go for a sort walk to the art gallery by my house... But I can't do all of the things I love to do because my body hates me.
My mom didn't even bother to come see when I was in the ER for hours. She was too worried about her own health, which I get, but I end up in the ER more often than I'd like to and my mom NEVER comes to see me. So, every time, I sit alone with no one to comfort me while I'm scared shitless. The doc at the ER put some dilaudid in my IV and I had to stumble out the door and take a bus home when I had no clue what was going on around me. I spoke with my mother today and she said, "OH HUNNY ME AND YOUR STEPDAD WERE GOING TO PICK YOU UP WHEN YOU WERE DONE, YOU MUST NOT HAVE REMEMBERED ME SAYING THAT." I just said, "Yeah, I guess." All she said to me was, "Let me know how things turn out." She never once insinuated that she would pick me up. I am still a little pissed off. She has only come to sit in the ER with me once. ONCE and I've been about 5 times in the past two years. But she only stayed for about 2 mins to bring me something.
Okay, I'm done bitching now and I need to pass out.
Does anyone have tips for dealing with chronic pain issues, or medically issues in general? It would be great to hear that I'm not alone.
I'm sorry you have to endure all that.
Ideally, it is obvious you need accompanying.
I have to go and get emergency stuff done now and then...I go on my own....but as soon as friends and family find out they track me down.
I hope yr mother gets some better priority going for you.
All the best
Oh my! I hope your doctors can determine what's causing the pain and swelling. Do you have somebody watching over you?
Perhaps you should contact your Department Chair or Student Services and try to work out a semester extension due to illness. That way you can get well and then tackle your studies.
I'm sorry about your mom too. Mine is like that -- never truly there for me. For years I kept hoping and expecting the love and support from her that I needed, but even when I clearly articulated it, she just didn't get it. I realized she never will. It is not in her make-up to be anything but narcissistic, judgmental and critical. So, I found nurturing relationships with older women elsewhere.
Hang in there!
BabyShelby, Me too! I hope all the bloodwork I got done was worth something. And no, no one watches over me. I alone in my apt most of the time. My mom calls to check on me, my sister too, but they both get in their fair talks of their misery as well. So, not too supportive.
I e-mailed all my prof's and asked what I can do because I don't know when I can get back to school and I NEED to finish this semester.
I'm so sorry we have both gone through the same things with our mothers. It is hard. I just need to get to the point you are at, then it'll be peachy. My mother (A few weeks ago) told me, "You have the Devil inside of you." Last night she told me "Satan has a hold on you." Wow, I must be like the Anti-Christ or something. Holy F***