Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
Being frail and sickly- no job- no money- cannot go anywhere
It's a simple formula that's unfortunately really lame and just.... depressing. I could be anything, and no one even knows. They don't know me. I don't know them.
I don't even know how to "romance" anymore. My ex (not one of the more abusive ones, though he is kind of fucked in the head) came over and I did makeup, because I felt well enough yesterday even though I feel like shit today, I tried to take some pictures of myself and then realized that while my makeup game was on fleek, my face is asymmetrical, and it triggered body dysmorphia that hasn't cropped up for a long time.
It didn't fuck up my day, though.
Anyways (this is slightly tmi, if you're under 18, skip this part and read ahead) he began kissing me and even though I was under minor sedation I felt like, "eww", which, although I have ace/aro tendencies, it's usually just numbness, not "eww wtf". I just wanted to skip ahead to sex, honestly, but he didn't have condoms, so I was like "nah". Not worth the risk. Especially considering the mental fog was setting in. I know a mistake when I'm presented with a yes or no situation, and it wouldn't have been worth the risk.
You can read now, under-agers! Anyways...
That was the first time I'd seen any friends in- sadly- months.
Whenever I have human contact, it's always doctors and usually when I'm puking violently and otherwise just gross and ugly-lookin' and feeling subhuman, so I wouldn't call that anything special, lol.
What do I do?
I guess I'll still go to South Carolina. I have pain and illness here, it won't be any new, strange thing there.
It feels like the long stretches of isolation won't end. And I'm beginning to forget how to be a person. I'm just a walking illness.
Or that I'm a mum stuck at home with a baby, and my baby is my illness. Weird as that is.
And I don't like being like, "poor me",
Which is why I'd join an "isolation support group" (isn't that pitiful hahahahahaha), but it'd be predictable. All the threads would be "poor me", because it's a dull life, usually.
So. I know some of y'all are isolated to some degree or another, probably not like...... total isolation, but a little bit, depression tends to do that. What do you do? How do you cope?
It's a simple formula that's unfortunately really lame and just.... depressing. I could be anything, and no one even knows. They don't know me. I don't know them.
I don't even know how to "romance" anymore. My ex (not one of the more abusive ones, though he is kind of fucked in the head) came over and I did makeup, because I felt well enough yesterday even though I feel like shit today, I tried to take some pictures of myself and then realized that while my makeup game was on fleek, my face is asymmetrical, and it triggered body dysmorphia that hasn't cropped up for a long time.
It didn't fuck up my day, though.
Anyways (this is slightly tmi, if you're under 18, skip this part and read ahead) he began kissing me and even though I was under minor sedation I felt like, "eww", which, although I have ace/aro tendencies, it's usually just numbness, not "eww wtf". I just wanted to skip ahead to sex, honestly, but he didn't have condoms, so I was like "nah". Not worth the risk. Especially considering the mental fog was setting in. I know a mistake when I'm presented with a yes or no situation, and it wouldn't have been worth the risk.
You can read now, under-agers! Anyways...
That was the first time I'd seen any friends in- sadly- months.
Whenever I have human contact, it's always doctors and usually when I'm puking violently and otherwise just gross and ugly-lookin' and feeling subhuman, so I wouldn't call that anything special, lol.
What do I do?
I guess I'll still go to South Carolina. I have pain and illness here, it won't be any new, strange thing there.
It feels like the long stretches of isolation won't end. And I'm beginning to forget how to be a person. I'm just a walking illness.
Or that I'm a mum stuck at home with a baby, and my baby is my illness. Weird as that is.
And I don't like being like, "poor me",
Which is why I'd join an "isolation support group" (isn't that pitiful hahahahahaha), but it'd be predictable. All the threads would be "poor me", because it's a dull life, usually.
So. I know some of y'all are isolated to some degree or another, probably not like...... total isolation, but a little bit, depression tends to do that. What do you do? How do you cope?
Being alone.. sometimes I get a little down and lonely, but it doesn't last. I just remind myself about the good things in my life. My kids and grankids first and foremost. Then.. my nice apartment which is filled with things that are just mine. I don't have to clean up after anyone else.. and the fact that Ican do whatever I want, whenever I want.
I am isolating too due to lack of funds! On Saturday I got a 100 overdraft and now I have to withdraw 40 for petrol.