It takes so much to just get in the shower, and take out my dog, and get in my car and drive to school or work. By the time I'm in class, I'm exhausted because I just used up the energy I had to get here. My affect is flat, and I can't participate, and my professors think that I'm just bored or disengaged.
I wish I could tell them that I'm exhausted. Exhausted from fighting most of my life to not let this disorder take more from me than it already has. I wish I could say, "Hey, I have bipolar disorder, and I'm not sleeping well, but I'm here. I made it to class." I don't want a pat on the back, or praise. I just want them to understand the strength, effort, and weekly sessions with my psychiatrist & my therapist I need to just be caught up with everyone else.
Hope you all have a great day.
My dream last night was so epically weird and also epically horrifying. I don't remember it all but I remember what happens in it. I start feeling suicidal again because I can't handle life. Only this time Im on a cruise ship for some reason.I think in the dream that I will have to be hospitalized again because in the dream, I am becoming suicidal as time passes. Someone gives me a video. I don't...