Bipolar Disorder Support Group
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So without divulging too much, I just recently (a little over one month ago) bought a fairly sizable haul of clothes. I'm dressed better than I've ever been before, and I was ECSTATIC like a month beforehand until not very long afterwards, and now I'm completely numb.
I saw a documentary on Netflix called 'happy' about what makes people happy in all cultures, and there's a phenomenon called 'treadmilling' in which science which suggests (the operative word here being 'suggests') that peoples' expectations will inevitably, eventually level out with what they have, so that "people will always want more, and more, and more. As long as its material, more of everything." (paraphrasing here)
But I've really never had enough money or like privilege to fuck around with in my life???????? Including recently. Or ever. Normally I'm over the moon with serendipity if I just so happen to stumble upon a windfall of like, $20.
So it seems like I ought not to be entirely unimpressed? I feel ungrateful.
The only time I'm like, THANK GOD, I look so cool holy hell, is when I go out of the house (which is rarely, and it's spring break loool), because I shopped in such a way as to pick things to reduce my gender dysphoria/discomfort with the way I'm perceived, and it works. Again. When I leave the house.
But uhhh so I have a huge pile of expensive name-brand shit piled on my floor, probably wrinkled, and have only worn them on a handful of occasions.
I always think it sounds INSANE when people mention buying tons of shit, I mean, nice things, and just leaving it laying around, sometimes not even removing tags. Like how could you??? It's so wasteful.
But that's me, now. Gaaah.
To give a comparison, at my best I'm some degree of image-obsessed, but also it's like, a hobby? Like a form of visual creation, piecing together an image in my head. I try to think what my favorite characters would wear if they were thrust into the modern world, and creative imagery is a part of my identity that I actually like to enjoy.
It's gotta be my depression fucking with me, right? If I were manic I'd be overjoyed about this. There's no logical reason why I should be so unimpressed or ungrateful, especially since it's so uncharacteristic of me.
Sorry for rambling, I'm trying to be better about it. This was supposed to only be 2 short paragraphs, lol. I guess you can't win 'em all. (x
I saw a documentary on Netflix called 'happy' about what makes people happy in all cultures, and there's a phenomenon called 'treadmilling' in which science which suggests (the operative word here being 'suggests') that peoples' expectations will inevitably, eventually level out with what they have, so that "people will always want more, and more, and more. As long as its material, more of everything." (paraphrasing here)
But I've really never had enough money or like privilege to fuck around with in my life???????? Including recently. Or ever. Normally I'm over the moon with serendipity if I just so happen to stumble upon a windfall of like, $20.
So it seems like I ought not to be entirely unimpressed? I feel ungrateful.
The only time I'm like, THANK GOD, I look so cool holy hell, is when I go out of the house (which is rarely, and it's spring break loool), because I shopped in such a way as to pick things to reduce my gender dysphoria/discomfort with the way I'm perceived, and it works. Again. When I leave the house.
But uhhh so I have a huge pile of expensive name-brand shit piled on my floor, probably wrinkled, and have only worn them on a handful of occasions.
I always think it sounds INSANE when people mention buying tons of shit, I mean, nice things, and just leaving it laying around, sometimes not even removing tags. Like how could you??? It's so wasteful.
But that's me, now. Gaaah.
To give a comparison, at my best I'm some degree of image-obsessed, but also it's like, a hobby? Like a form of visual creation, piecing together an image in my head. I try to think what my favorite characters would wear if they were thrust into the modern world, and creative imagery is a part of my identity that I actually like to enjoy.
It's gotta be my depression fucking with me, right? If I were manic I'd be overjoyed about this. There's no logical reason why I should be so unimpressed or ungrateful, especially since it's so uncharacteristic of me.
Sorry for rambling, I'm trying to be better about it. This was supposed to only be 2 short paragraphs, lol. I guess you can't win 'em all. (x
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I find myself going places in the car and not wanting to get out of the car. I come back home and I don't want to get out of the car. I think it's the only time I spend reflecting. Chronic tiredness from Long Covid plus the immunosupressing meds for my Crohn's is slowing me down but everything just seems a massive effort. I am dealing with the paperwork following my father's death but it's not...
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Wow, it's the middle of the week already!Today is our 11 year anniversary, so we're going out to a nice dinner. I'm losing a lot of sleep these days, hence a wonky schedule and uncomfortable feelings. But I know it will pass, eventually.I hope all of you have a peaceful day, and may good things come your way!
but that is because it's an unequal society...as is much of the world
other research indicates people are happier if their standard of living is about the same as those around them.
when you put them in a situation where they can see others "better off" than them they start to become disatisfied.
I'm sure glossy films and TV now reaches out to those pockets of happiness and ruin them.
Except Bhutan. They don't have TV. They are carbon neutral or positive. Their most important measure is "gross national happiness". Basically they are piss poor but claim to be happy.
It's more complicated than what you have or don't, but also it's not as simple as what you do or don't have.
Disparity you mean, the wage gap? Yea.... Big elephant in the room in the States. The wage gap is galaxies wide.
To say it simply, (I don't have my wording correct momentarily) I think it's insulting for anyone to say that people wouldn't be happier with money, if that money would provide them with basic human necessities, shelter, medical expenses, cleanliness, safety.
There were three of something in the film. Three components of happiness, I can't remember them all. Sense of feeling helpful, sense of being connected to society, and sense of satisfying self-improvement where it's needed, I think, but don't quote me on it.
Inter-connectivity mostly covered the other half of the equation.
In philosophy, lines are blurred more. (philosophy and neuroscience don't always agree, though.) Some people worry about existential conundrums, some do not. Some find the answers in solitary contemplation, some find them in cultural norms and folkways. It's complicated I guess.
This is why relationships start off all Lets-Be-Together-All-The-Time, then over time they get all complacent.
This is why we often do our Best, in the first 6 months-one year in a (new) job.
This is why people in General are All Excited about their purchases, until the "newness" wears off.
etc, etc - it's Natural, and the documentary sounds like it covered it.
It happens. Being happy has Nothing to do with anything but Us. :/
(human nature)
There was the Movie 'The other Final' about Bhutan V Montserrat; FIFA's two lowest ranked nations at the time; in 2002 at the same time roughly as the World Cup Final between Brazil and Germany. Bhutan won 1-0.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Other_Final
I am glad you got you some new clothes though. I think it's great that you can be creative and have fun with clothes!