I know exactly how you feel. None of the people around me understand what I go through. Even though some of them claim they understand bp! But in practice, when I'm having some kind of symptom, they expect me to just snap out of it, or practice some positive thinking ( which by the way drives me nuts when they do that)

That's why here I get some relief since you all know that it's not that I'm lazy, or negative, it's just that I have this disease that messes with my mind and effects my moods and therefore behavior.

I just give judgments back to people. It would be wonderful to be accepted but from what I see human nature isn't suited to it.

Yep, its horrible. Sorry they are doing this to you. Family can be the worst.

I'm struggling with judging myself all the time.

I am just tired of people period.....

No, you're not being paranoid. There is stigma, bigotry, fear and ignorance about our illnesses and I have been subject to it in my family - my imediate ajnd large extended family. And while I have been rejected wholesale by family I've done nothing to hurt, they then seem to to think they have the right to have me in the middle of a terrible gossip cycle and also that I'm "public property" because I have mental illness. I've separated from them now.

I second all of what sepi said. :-)

I empathize and sympathize. All I can say is that I have begun to become complacent and passive about folks.

Oh yea-I had a bad time with one lady who I call a "frenemy." This lady sent me an email about this man and wife who lived in an institution. The woman in the institution accidentally put her drowned husband out to dry. This frenemy thought that this was "funny." I have PTSD over what the frenemy did. But, because where I live there are few people who are supportive, I still associate with this lady.

Some folks you might have to "divorce" or get away from, if you can. Others, you will have to work with. You have to figure out what you can deal with and what you can't and get with a talk therapist to say what they say about it-make a decision and stick to it, that would be good.

Yes I am, sick and tired as a matter of fact and I'm moving on. They not gonna' make me happy but they can't make me sad either - not anymore.

thank you every one for all your wonderful support and comments. I thought I was alone here LOL. On most days it doesn't bother me but for some reason it was just really bothering me that day, I felt like I just wanted some one to accept me, but I forgot there are people here who accept me and I'm grateful for that.

Actually now that I think about it I'm a little judgmental of them too. After all I don't spend much time with them and they are clearly some what miss informed. They only know what they hear about and jump to quick conclusions about what they heard. Any way I could try to explain things in greater detail but sometimes it just isn't worth it. As far as the I'm just lazy and bi polar isn't real I don't think I can change their minds on that as they are set in their ways and remain in an ignorant and old fashion frame of mind.

How could they really know some of this stuff you have to go through your self to understand. I know it's real because the meds make such a huge difference for me. the lamictal has helped me greatly and I'm slowly returning to my former self before the illicit street drugs. Still they probably expect me to run out and get a job right away I think this is their biggest beef with me. But my uncle from virginia is quite an asshole. He loves picking on my weight and I know I'm quite obese now but he still made comments back when I was my thinnest and attractive. He's just a right out and plan old asshole, in fact I'm pretty sure he's the king of all other assholes. LOL yeah I just felt like picking on him since he likes picking on others so much.

By judging us all the time people don't have to look at themselves and can pretend that all is really hunky dorry.

People often make critical judgments of others because they recognize specific character traits which they detest within themselves and hold as symbols of weakness.

I just leave symbols to the symbol minded and move on.

most people don't really understand what we go through.

some of my best friends still think that taking medication is not necessary, and so I do wonder what they might think about my lack of willpower.

What people don't understand is that it is not our choice to be this way. We cope and manage best we can, and sometimes we just can't cope and manage so well. But that's life.

Most of my family don't understand (especially my older sister) but my Mum has been super supportive. My Dad isn't so interested and others mat not even know.