Emotions good. I am a 12 years sober alcoholic in AA. Aside from genetics, alcoholism and any other addictive behaviour is very specificlly about squashing down difficult and uncomfortable emotions and NOT dealing with the realities of life. But Man is that a bad strategy - I would end up doing things in my blackouts that would make my life much worse and the emotions always resurface in ever-more destructive ways, like anger and rage spewing out to other people, physical maladies, confusion, lower functionality, many more twisted emotions - they breed!! LOL.

Years ago in AA I heard this guy share that what we need to do is, "Go straight to where the pain is". It's sort of a snapshot of what all the 12 Steps are, but it applies equally to everybody else who don't have addiction and who don't go to 12 Step Programs.

For me, "Go straight to where the pain is", is about facing life and our problems square on, deal with what we need to do emotionally, and also in the ways we interface with other humans. Don't duck and weave around an emotional problem, go straight through it and thus find a much more constructive solution to dealing with emotions. I will always be on a learning curve on this for the rest of my life - I can still engage in obsessive actions or thinking to avoid emotions, but through AA, therapy and a spiritual search I find I am stronger now than in the past to go straight to where that pain is and move forward. It doesn;t mean there is not incredible discomfort involved - I have a current life issues like that, but in facing it and working on it as a responsible adult, there is much less pain overall.

An old fried once told me that you are not responsible for the way you feel, only for what you do with those feelings. I still think about that when I'm in a highly emotional state. It has a way of calming me down.

I think I tend to be to unemotional. I always over analyze everything. I learned to be dispassionate and unemotional because of living with a person with BPD for so long. I always had to difuse highly emotional situations and could only handle them by remaining cooly detached. So now I'm cold as a dead fish. Never get upset about anything just calm cool and collected. But of course that's not the case and things that I pass by seem to fester and come out later in inappropriate ways.

I agree with that wendy

but I'm not talking about bottling up your emotions all together. Emotions are good (for something even though at this point I'm not sure what because I've always been a calculating computer) but what I'm talking about is having emotions so bad that I blurt things out that were stupid! after I calm down though I realize the stupidity of it all. I could have just said "hey now is not the time lets calm down and discuss this civilly" or something to that degree "in stead I end up screaming "I hate you! Why are you such a B!TCH!" and other stuff. Usually to family because those are the only people I care about.

It's funny how I can deal with perfect strangers so easily because nothing they say can upset me. Also because of my family dynamics is alcoholics there is a lot of dysfunction going on there.
Even the ones who aren't alcoholics they still have the dysfunction of an alcoholic because that basically is what our family is. No one talks about their problems instead they pretend like we have none. But we have tons of problems that never gets resolved because no one want's top sit down at discuss any thing! Mean while I don't drink and I'm very emotional! Plus my mom's side of the family does discuss our problems and work things out. So as a person who likes clarity and hashing things out I look more and more like an insane asshole by comparison!

If I was just able to keep my cool things would have been different. But by the time I realize that it's too late. I already look like an idiot and there is no chance for redemption in this family.

I don't know my emotions seem like they just make me irrational. But yeah I like crying and breaking things in the privacy of my own home. Cause no one is there to judge me or tell me how bat shit crazy I look right now.

Emotions are good. I would hate to not know the joy of a good day.

There is enough people in the world that can never think outside the box and look at the shape the world is in. Put some emotion and passion into things and see what a difference you really can make in not only your own life but perhaps in someone elses too.


Emotions are a good thing

My judgement of emotions doesn't seem to have any impact on them. However I choose to judge them, they seem to remain what they are. Whether my mighty gavel pronounces them, good, bad, benign, whatever, whatever, they run their course all the same. I guess it's kinda like expecting a rose to blush because I don't like its thorns.

It helps me to separate feeling from fact. My feelings are what they are and will run their course no matter how much I cajole and logicate. I can also count on them to change, no matter how tightly I hold on. Good or bad, this, too, will pass.

Facts are where I find it easiest to be rational. "I said something stupid," will remain a fact while my emotions run their gambit around them. When I am able to let that fact stand alone, I can then review options of what to do about that particular faux paux.

I hate the bloody things!

I remember my first heartbreak at age 18 when my bf split up with me cos he wanted to concentrate on his studies.

The intense suicidal pain! Every morning I woke up in such emotional pain like a hole ripped in my chest, with the intense disappointment that I was still alive and had not died in my sleep. I wanted to be dead so badly to escape from the pain.

I decided then and there that I did not want emotions anymore. I wanted to shut them off and become a robot. I tried so hard to shut them off.

Of course it did not work. But I wanted it so badly. My emotions are so strong and overwhelming. Still are! I would prefer robotdom! The brief highs are not worth the majority lows to me.

They say you have to experience lows to appreciate the highs. But why do the lows gotta be so damn intensely painful and the lows so goddamn low with this disorder.

Like you, I have said so many things out of my own emotional pain and anger that would have been much better left unsaid. I have done things I wish could be undone. I feel so terrible for hurting people.

You are so right about the robotdom. I bet the business world and government would prefer everyone to be robots who were easily controlled and manipulated.

When will they invent the magic middle ground to cure us all so we can close this group and all live happily ever after. Grrrrr. lol

Fabulous question doorknob. Really made me think.

emotions, living? just like we do, hmm

we would be robot without them. very true

does this whole planet revolve solely for our emotions?

I think emotions are good, they are just like everything else in life, not perfect but everything has it's reason. xo

I am in DBT and we are taught emotions are neither good nor bad, but yet another type of input of our experience in the world. I actually like that perspective.

If you can practice on keeping the thought that you choose your reactions uppermost in your mind, it might help you to hold your tongue a bit when your emotions run high. Always remember that you're in charge of what comes out of your mouth!!!!

It's not the emotions that are the problem!! It's what you do with them.
But, interestingly enough, once you get a handle on how you express them, you become very empowered and, with time, you will find that you no longer react so strongly, emotionally.

I use to have the same problem until I dealt with it in therapy, years ago. It helped me reframe my thinking of how I perceived things and how I responded to them. It really did help a lot!!!!

I think just the fact that you're realizing how you react and that there's a better way to do it is showing that you are now ready to change. And once you learn how to change your behavior, your emotions (the ones you consider 'bad') will lose a lot of their negative power over you!!

(((((Hugs)))))

Emotions are good. Reacting to emotions is not always so good....

lack of emotion due to my meds is like a slow death. i miss my fire, but sadly have to trade it for sanity at the moment.
emotions make us who we are.

emotions are a vital part of our existence; without fear, we would be eaten up in no time!! I think balancing emotion with intellect is the key. And it's the BP emotions that make it so difficult to do. There's a really good book I read once, I think it's called, "Art in the workplace"...it focuses on just what you're saying; how to be rational when you want to clock your boss....but the same author has also written a similar book for interacting with the world in general....the main thing I remember it saying is, that basic instinctive emotions like fear and anger, anxiety, etc. are the strongest emotions we feel, and the first ones when the "fight or flight" response is triggered. And of course, that is when you want to clock your boss...so catching yourself in the moment, preferrably before you clock your boss, is the key. Exactly how to do that, especially when you're BP, is beyond me. But taking my meds are a good place to start!!! Biofeedback is another one...learning to pay attention to your early warning signs when you are starting to get angry, stressed, etc. (for me, it's clenching my jaws, which have become very painful now, and I have no problem identifying it!!)

((( hugs )))