I'm going down the rabbit hole. Not sure if that's the best way to refer to it though since I'm going uuuuupppp! Bf is here but he does not seem to be in a good mood so no having fun with him. What a bore. And this is not the best week to sexually harass him- if you get my gist. Sigh. Incidentally this is all happening while I'm watching Black Box. Shoulda known the depression didn't just break- hypo kicked in. I started hallucinating the other night and I didn't fall asleep til after 4 this morning. I want ice cream. Chocolate. My head hurts. Also, my housemate is rather annoying. I should probably message my tdoc. He's pretty cool- gave me his personal number. Maybe my benzo didn't make me high- it was just the hypo. Oh my goooooosh the world is getting brighter. All around the edges. My boyfriend is so beautiful when he's asleep. He'll make adorable babies. Adorable inside and out. Think his genes are strong enough to balance out my crazy ones? I dunno. He saw the scars on my arm this morning. The new ones. He didn't yell or shut down. I think he's accepting it as a regular part of me like smiling. I want to screeeeeam. Everything is so beautiful. AAAAahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Ha ha ha. MI walkathon tomorrow. I should not be hypo then, should I? Would a benzo bring me down? I dunno. I don't think I really know what it's for except to help with hte anxiety- anxiety I don't think I really have. Or maybe I do. I do know that's not what prompted the suicide attempt. gosd thisis a long post but i cant seem to make my fingerss stop my brain is just going and going and going and going. i should write. i should really finis my book. any one of them. and take a shower. yes, taking a shower is a good idea. siiiiigh. i should stop. no one is going to read this much. hell i won't reread this and i usually reread my posts to check for grammatical errors. like i go around camppus correcting posters sometimes. it's so lame. i haven't got any physically challenged feiends. or mentally challenged either. i used to think my brother i call him Midget i used to think he was dyslexic. ha! he isn't. total badassed weed head though or he was word is he
;'s trying to get hs act together. woooooohoooooooo deep breath. i'm done typing now. yep. see ya bitches!