You don't have to pretend to be happy hun. You're allowed to be angry. Scream as much as you want, you never know, it could make you feel a bit better.

Just stay strong and you'll be fine. Rough patches suck a whole lot but there is light at the other side.

Tats, I agree that the med change may not have been a good idea. When we feel like this it is not easy to "distract" ourselves. Please call your pdoc and work with him. This wont just go away and will escalate to a less manageable point.

As for working with your triggers....look at the specifics of what your triggers are and work to avoid or manage them. You dont have to cover it up but find ways to manage it that work for you.

If being in large groups bother you, limit your time with it. If the "money" spent bothers you, reduce the amount you spend. There is alot you can do to take the pressure off but it sounds more to me like a med issue. Especially if you dont normally feel this way.

xo

Thanks guys....

No, I don't normally feel like not wanting to wake up in the mornings. And the family coming is a huge trigger for me because i just don't want everyone in the house. I'm starting to feel smothered already.

Sorry you are feeling so terrible, lil sweetie. Work with your pdoc and see if you can't get to feeling better. Hugs and love for you!!

Thanks chelle....ox

tats - I can relate though I want to cry instead of scream this holiday season. I am going to try not to hold it all in, and let myself feel. That's one of the things I'm trying to learn to do -- avoid pushing away my emotions.

I like what jess said about staying strong. Rough patches do suck, but things always change.

Thanks RitKat.....sorry you are having a hard time too. I feel a good cry trying to come on so maybe I'll let the tears flow and be done with it. Just afraid I won't be able to stop and it'll escalate into something I don't want it to.....a major flip out. Thats what I am trying to avoid right now. I'm right on the verge though.

i agree that cutting back on abilify might not have been good. Can you go back up to your usual dose?

i know how you feel, i had to cut back my Abilify because i cannot afford to take the full dose all the time, it's just to expensive, i hope you get to feeling better, the holidays are a major trigger for me, mostly because i expect so much from myself, i want everything to be "perfect" even though i know it won't be, this year i just want all of this to be over with

Yeah I'm going back up to 10mg.....hopefully that'll help pull me out of this funk zsa.

Asch, thanks for the support I hear ya on just wanting the holida to be over with. Hang in there too ok?

If you can, limit your family time if that helps. A few hugs and kisses on the cheek, then get the hell out!! You're not forced to eat with anyone.

I agree with jessb138 -- don't pretend to be happy if you're not. It always makes me more miserable.

I understand not wanting to face the holidays. I was out at WalMart last night getting cat food and the crowd was unbelievable. They always start the holiday season earlier every year and it just causes us more time for the anxiety of Christmas. I don't remember who said it but I would try to limit the family time. If you're hosting though that will be hard to do. Keep breathing deep. Things always change.

I hear you, I feel the same way about the holidays and even my own birthday, don't force yourself to do anything you don't want to! (((hugs)))