Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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tats69 02/28/2009

I don't know who to believe. And I don't know what to do. This last go round, that is still lingering heavily around me, I thought about stabbing myself in the leg with a screwdriver, punching windows. Felt like hurting other people. I knew the thoughts were irrational, I've been beyond irritable. The there are times were I steal things out of stores. WTF! I'm petrified to mention this to the pdoc. I don't believe that there is a "cocktail" for me. Can't talk to my mom, she is antimeds. But I don't trust the pdocs?? I told my counselor these things and she wrote a letter to bring with me to the pdoc. I'm very hesitant to give it to him because it'll be more meds. Is there anyone with some knowledge about this shit that can help me make sense of this. WTF should I do?? I'm freaking out!

deleted_user 02/28/2009

My advice is probably a anti-psychotic change!
A change not an addition.

tats69 02/28/2009

I'm scared shitless. I have no idea which one to even consider. But I can't keep doing this either.

deleted_user 02/28/2009

I think you need to get stable for the sake of your two boys IMO. It can be a difficult road but if you aren't able to trust your pdoc then maybe it's time to ask why and brotch this subject with him/her. If it means taking more meds then so be it. Taking meds is a small price to pay for stability and it sounds like you need to become stable if what you are writing is a normal occurence for you. Not trusting may be a part of your illness. With a med change it may calm down.

deleted_user 02/28/2009

The Lamicital amount your on is not working and you cannot tolerate higher. Therefore, something needs to be done.
I was on risperdal for all my 3 years on pills and that damn med made me horribly sick.
I have just started a weening off of Risperdal onto Albify. Albify at onlt one quarter dose is making me feel great.
I would HIGHLY advise a change to Abilify!

tats69 02/28/2009

I did try abilify, the 2nd day I threw up off and on all day. Seroquel makes me mean....I have no clue which one to even try

deleted_user 02/28/2009

ohhhhhhh, ohhhhh...have been to such scary places...took me years to get my 'cocktail' right...sympathize with you deeply...do you have anything that also calms your nerves...something in the valium family or related to...?

please do hang on during this awful period...i suppose due to personal experience and blind faith i DO believe there is a mix out there that will bring back your clarity...no quick fix or cure...but something that can bring you out of these deep dark woods you are now navigating...xoxoxo, beep.

deleted_user 03/01/2009

I agree with beep. It has taken me over 10 years to find the cocktail that really works to keep me stable. Don't give up. I would try one and then break through or it would stop working. Right now I am level and feeling good. I DO trust my pdoc because he listens to me and respects me. You also have to be willing to make a go of it and try out new medication. I started Lamictal at the lowest dose as per my pdoc's advice, and it seems that is all I can tolerate and what works for me even though some people are on 300-400mgs, for me it only takes 5mgs!! Everybody is different. I am a glaring exception to the Lamictal rule, however. But keep an open mind and remember that patience pays off. BTW, why would your Mom be anti-meds when bipolar is a chemical disorder and meds are what help to keep you in balance. If it weren't for meds I wouldn't be well!!! Thank FUCK for meds is all I can say. I'd be dead without them. Your mother needs an education!! IMHO!! I hope she sees the light.

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