I don't know who to believe. And I don't know what to do. This last go round, that is still lingering heavily around me, I thought about stabbing myself in the leg with a screwdriver, punching windows. Felt like hurting other people. I knew the thoughts were irrational, I've been beyond irritable. The there are times were I steal things out of stores. WTF! I'm petrified to mention this to the pdoc. I don't believe that there is a "cocktail" for me. Can't talk to my mom, she is antimeds. But I don't trust the pdocs?? I told my counselor these things and she wrote a letter to bring with me to the pdoc. I'm very hesitant to give it to him because it'll be more meds. Is there anyone with some knowledge about this shit that can help me make sense of this. WTF should I do?? I'm freaking out!
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