Once in the ER I had a drunk on one side of me and a gunshot gangster type on the other side. The drunk kept yelling for the nurses and the gangster kept telling him to shut the eff up. Then they really started going at it. "Why don't you come over here and shut me up?" The gangster was moaning and groaning in pain and the drunk kept telling him to shut the eff up. And, "Why don't you come over here and shut me up?"

And I was laughing my ass off. The louder and more obnoxious they got - the harder I laughed. Finally they gave the gangster a pain shot. How unfair is that. One is drunk. The other is stoned. And here I am, stuck in the middle. So, I started asking them if I could have a drink or a pain shot. It was unforgettable and more than a little disturbing for all, especially the staff. Now for some odd reason that strikes me as funny all over again. The drunk and the gangster started bonding after the pain shot and that just pissed me off. I wasn't laughing anymore.

Oh boy. I had a very large angry lady wanting to kick my ass because I wouldn't give her a small cup of soda from my meal.... She was screaming I'm gonna kill you ...yada yada yada.

I lauged so damn hard and it pissed her off even more. Finally I said "geez I think someone needs a med adjustment".... lmao

When I was 15 in a isolation room after admittance from ER- I woke to some guy staring into my room through the small observation window in the door.

He kept coming back and tapping on window and waving. He ended up being a nice guy. He was in his 30's.

Oh and when I was locked up again and sent to NC for long term stay on the adolescent unit some chick just stood up as we were all watching TV in the lounge and slapped me across my face and well being 16 I was cursing at her and although I refrained from hitting her I still got a 24 hour room restriction fro yelling at her and the staff. She got the padded isolation room.

Oh I could go on.... lol

Once when I went to the ER to be admitted the docs kept interviewing me to determine whether I was really suicidal. While I was sitting around I called my sister who advised me to "crawl on the floor like a dog" in order for them to think I was nuts. BTW, I was admitted (didn't even need to get down on my knees).

Can't believe I'm going to tell this...One late afternoon they had fed us all black bean burgers for dinner. Cut to two hrs. later and their is this noxious smell all over the place and you couldn't escape it. Everybody was just tooting around (including yours truly) and it was like a heavy dense fog of sulpher or something. My parents came to visit me at 7pm and asked what that smell was I told them and said I don't blame you if you want to leave. They just stayed there looking like they were going to throw up! As if I hadn't put them through enough! We had a psychotic fart party going on!

Nester my first and only experience they fed us stuffed peppers! And they were spicy and we only had one toilet to share for the entire admit area with NO door just a shower curtain that didn't even cover the entire toilet area. When I finally got to a room in the admit area we still had to share that toilet. Needless to say I was so lucky to get some immodium ad!

I was in the mental health ER area and they had gotten pretty sure that I wasn't gonna hurt anyone else. So they put a drunk gal in with me. So they go to take her blood and she starts screaming and carrying on that they're killing her. They don't know what to do because they don't have the staff to hold her down.
So I decided to get involved. I yell to her, "Hey lady! If you are brave and let them work .. I'll sing you a funny nasty joke!" They were so desperate that they actually let me do it. And it worked. Suddenly I was her best friend for about 5 minutes.( they had escorted me upstairs after that)

I ended up in ICU and then psych ward after taking a bottle full of Elavil (DON'T DO IT). Only the patients thought it was funny...taking antidepressants to off yourself. Get it? My pdoc was not amused.

I'm trying to think more of the funny aspects of mental illness rather than the grueling ones...

My husband laughing at me cause I didn't know how to do the Breathalyzer.

Thinking the Scrabble board held The Secrets of the Universe.

A patient friend casting us all in his remake of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

Doing an Interpretive Dance expressing what I felt the government was doing with a girl wearing a Guns n Roses tshirt.

Well after a few days in the hospital the group of people and I met and were really starting to go stir crazy. We were having an activity time in the gym and someone found a radio and turned on 70s music. We had a giant dance party and I thought to myself how many times in your life can you just have a giant dance party with people who are going through similar things as you are in a mental hospital.

I once had a birthday while in a psych unit and THERE WERE NO KNIVES TO CUT THE CAKE! It wasn't the greatest birthday, but everybody sang Happy Birthday, off key I'll add! And one of the nurses did take the cake away to cut it.

At one stay there were several women my age. It was a holiday weekend and we sat around sharing stories like these. I experienced a real connection with these women, which is rare for me. We had so many laughs and I couldn't believe that it took place in a psych unit! I guess it's not surprising since it's a safe place to bare your soul.

I learned very quickly that being a smart ass in the psych ward can backfire... When first admitted to the last one I was in they were going through the usual Q&A when they asked "If you start to have suicidal or self harming thoughts will you report it to the staff?" my response? "Fuck no! That's how I got here in the first place!".... I ended up sleeping on a cot in front of the nurses station for that one.

A few weeks later I was sitting on the floor with a few other patients and my knee happened to touch a guys knee. The staff flew over and started lecturing that there's no touching allowed. I looked up and said "Oh my god! My knee is touching his knee!!! Ooooooo ORGASM!!!"..... yeah, got in trouble for that... lol

When I was in the hospital in 2007 we had a jail break.
One guy started a fight with staff and while this was going on his sister jumped the front desk and escaped. They found her a couple days later but the guy got the worst end of the deal they kept him so drugged he kept face planting his dinner plate.

Once in a hospital in NJ we were playing (forced) Bingo one afternoon. The social worker running the group started to explain the rules of Bingo and I couldn't help myself, I started hysterically laughing, LOUDLY. She looked at me and said, "Halter, some people don't know the rules. Do you need to spend time in the Think It Over Room?"

That just made me laugh harder and I got expelled from group but I did not have to go to the room. They gave me my afternoon dose of Seroquel instead.

Another time I was given Ambien for the first time and I stayed up too late and started hallucinating. Two orderlies hauled me off to bed as I was shouting, "There are GNOMES, in the CARPET! GUYS THERE ARE GNOMES IN THE CARPET!!!! WE HAVE TO GET THEM OUT!"

I love the gnome story!!!