I am feeling very depressed and anxious. I started a new job on Monday and it seems to be going OK. I just am having a very hard time with anxiety and just a generalfeeling of uneasiness. I don't know what my problem is. I'm really worried about money because this job only pays 850 an hour and is full-time. The Company offers health insurance. The health insurance really isn't that bad, but the prescriptions and $20 co-pay for each generic prescription. I am about 10 different things as well as two different types of insulin. Because I making over the limit for Medicaid I will be cut off. I am really not sure what to do. The government has you by the shorthair. You either barely make enough to live and almost be homeless to receive Medicaid, or you get a job that has insurance and be broke because of all the co-pays. It really sucks and I'm not sure what to do. I could just go off my medicine, but I know that's not the answer. Also, I am in A lot of pain still with my knees. I hurt so bad that I can't even do my laundry. My blankets smell terrible because it's been so long since I've got them washed. I have to go to the laundromat to do them, and I hurt so bad by the end of the day that I can barely walk. I don't even know what to do. I just feel very alone. I pray every night that God would just take me. I don't want to be here anymore. I don't believe in suicide, so that's probably the only reason why am still here. I just feel like everything is wrong. Like nothing will ever be right again. I just want to feel happy again. But what does happy look like? I have no clue.