So sorry-

Happy Birthday from me. I know it's not the same but I think everyone should get as many good Birthday wishes as they can!

Thank you, your very sweet

Happy birthday. I think its ok to express yourself here. I have felt the same and have actually screamed my lungs out and pounded my pillow etc. Feel better. Thinking of you

Happy Birthday to you. Go and see your Dad!!!

Oh, I know how you feel about your dad. Mine has hurt me in so many ways and it seems the more I try to "explain" the pain to him the worse it gets. My dad lives about 10 mins away but seldom see him at all. That is mostly my doing. I tend to just stay away because it is too painful to be around him. He calls my house and speaks to everyone....my husband and kids and NEVER asks to speak to me. This is something that has happened in the past 4 yrs or so. Until then I was always a daddy's girl so this change has taken its toll on me. I have thoguht about "what if" he suddenly dies and things are unresolved how would I feel then? I don't know. It can all be confusing. This past year on my b'day when he didn't call or send a card I cried for days. My husband is not very understanding of the pain so I do not have anyone to talk to about it. I am sorry you are going throguh this. I wish I could offer some good advice. All I can tell you is that you are in my thoughts and prayers today. Take care of yourself. Put off as many errands as you can and just let it all out!

Happy Birthday!

Get your feelings out it will help you. This is sad and disappointing and hurtful...Sounds like you have a nice friend can talk to as well.

Thank you all for the nice things you said. I was givin advice that makes total sense and I will work on it. I just wish my in-laws were more loving they hate me I really have no one but my dad and loseing that Im all alone but if thats how it has to be I need to adjust to it. Thanks again all I will keep ya updated.
Katy

happy birthday to you!!! i lost contact w my father for years and it was very hurtful to me as well that he just forgot me as well.but after being a hospice nurse for years and seeing that in the end when a person dies that you cant go back and change things and that i may have had regrets i could never take back when my father contacted me via facebook about 1 1/2 years ago i decided to forgive him bc i decided what he did wasnt bad enough not to forgive and un forgiveness is like a weight around your neck and i didnt want to live in that. but only you can make that choice.it might help you heal and grieve his passing if you can make ammends while he is alive.while the pain he has caused you may be too big whatever you decide you have to be comfortable with it for the rest of your life. God Bless you in whatever your choice is. ((((HUGS))))))enjoy whats left of your bday!!

happy birthday katy. sorry it's a tough one.

First of all Happy Birthday to you I'm sorry here how your feeling I too have the daddy issue and I would just call him we don't know how long we will be here I say that to you but I don't know if I could call mine. Do what you can live with, I just don't want it to be to late often I feel like screaming but I don't. Please don't feel like you're all alone you have us to talk to. My prayers are with you and yours. Just remember we are here. Talk to you in the morning'

Happy birthday. It is taking me a long time but I finally getting to the point where I am not expecting much from my father either though he still wishes me happy birthday and sends me money here and there. But that is all he can do. I never get invited for Christmas or other holidays and it hurts me a log because I know he flies his son in for Christmas from his second marriage. When I lived in the same town, he had me over one day to take pictures for their family christmas card. But guess who was not in the picture but endured the pain of being asked to be behind the camera! My father does obligatory things in my direction but he is not there for me and he hardly calls just to say hello. I have started to call him more often though just to do my part to have some kind of relationship with him and try to get over the hurt I feel and let go of any expectation. When I get really really depressed I start getting anxious because i feel when my mother leaves this world, I will have no real family. I will have a facsimile of one with obligatory motions made towards me here and there, but no real connection and it hurts. I'm the black sheep really with my illness as well. But I have come to realize that in letting go in that area, love is all around me in other ways and I can tap into that for healing. So can you.

P.S. I find that as a depressive BP, it is very easy for me to fixate on what I don't have or what I am not getting and what seems unfair. They have even done studies on those with low seratonin feeling unfair things more intensely or seeing things as unfair to a bigger degree than generally mentally healthy people would.

Knowing this, I am trying to train myself not to look so long at closed or closing doors and to look around and see what better things in the moment are there for me to tap into. In this way, I am sure I will be building a healthy family of choice more often now.

Even if it is unfair how I get treated by people at times, I know I need to do my best not to let it get to me and thus plummet my brain chemistry even further down. I look at it like, "I can't afford to go there, even if it's unfair - especially because it's unfair."

Happy Birthday Kitty, I hope it gets better for you.

I am a day late here but Happy Birthday.

I feel this way about my mother..she hurts me again and again.

I am glad that you have your friend to talk to. My husband is a great support, and I have my therapist and now my Pastor.

Wish you the best of luck hun. (((((((HUGS))))))))))

Happy Birthday, Kitty.

You can't change your dad's personality, but you can change the way you react to it. I'm not telling you what to do, but if it were me - I would make my peace with him before he dies.

You will probably have to take the lead and do the calling. And you may have to do the forgiving, he may never see that he has hurt you.

My husbands mother was very cold, but it didn't hurt any less when she died. And the regrets were many.

My heart goes out to you, but my suggestion is for YOU. To give you some closure and peace of mind.