Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I mentioned in my previous post that I thought I liked being bullied.
Well, last night I saw my bully.
He looked at his shoes. And when I stared at him, hard, and daring him to look up.
He looked anywhere but me.
I realized how effective a sheild is a computer screen.
He looked lonely; not because he was alone, but rather in his mannerisms.
He didn't look intimidating in the physical sense; not even in the slightest.
I looked at him, this little boy(even though he's 20) and all my anger towards him washed away.
I was angry at HIM? He couldn't even face me in person. Was he ashamed? I think not. He just didn't have the BALLS, the COURAGE to look at me like a man he pretends he is.
My Grandma once said he's just bored to death, and that is why he would make someone's life miserable.
I looked at him, and realized that he was just alone in this world, or he felt like it. His dad gets a new wife, his confidence is based on how bad he can make people feel.
I know this, because we used to play the truth game.
I know this, because I know him a little too well.
I didn't know why I was so angry at him. He can lash out on facebook, but when it comes to face-to-face, he can do nothing; his harsh words are useless.
I prayed for him. I prayed that he would find meaning in life.
Because all he knew as meaning, was finding someone to sleep with him
I didn't feel the anger anymore. I didn't feel anything anymore. Because when I looked at him, and he didn't even have the courage to face me.
I realized he is just a bully.
A cowardly one at that.
Well, last night I saw my bully.
He looked at his shoes. And when I stared at him, hard, and daring him to look up.
He looked anywhere but me.
I realized how effective a sheild is a computer screen.
He looked lonely; not because he was alone, but rather in his mannerisms.
He didn't look intimidating in the physical sense; not even in the slightest.
I looked at him, this little boy(even though he's 20) and all my anger towards him washed away.
I was angry at HIM? He couldn't even face me in person. Was he ashamed? I think not. He just didn't have the BALLS, the COURAGE to look at me like a man he pretends he is.
My Grandma once said he's just bored to death, and that is why he would make someone's life miserable.
I looked at him, and realized that he was just alone in this world, or he felt like it. His dad gets a new wife, his confidence is based on how bad he can make people feel.
I know this, because we used to play the truth game.
I know this, because I know him a little too well.
I didn't know why I was so angry at him. He can lash out on facebook, but when it comes to face-to-face, he can do nothing; his harsh words are useless.
I prayed for him. I prayed that he would find meaning in life.
Because all he knew as meaning, was finding someone to sleep with him
I didn't feel the anger anymore. I didn't feel anything anymore. Because when I looked at him, and he didn't even have the courage to face me.
I realized he is just a bully.
A cowardly one at that.
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
Indeed, he is a ball-less wonder! I do hope my prayers will help him. He made me angry, when I should have just felt pity.
I'm not going to talk about him anymore; that will just give him life for my emotions. You know?
@mojopaw, I did learn a lesson. One that I won't forget. I'm never going to go on facebook again. It's pointless drama, and in all honestly, a trigger.
You deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.. Your forgiveness and understanding are a wonderful gift to give yourself...xo
I guess bullies are always cowardly. I just find it hilarious that he acts like a hardass, when in reality, he has to hide behind a computer screen.
Forgiveness is good for the soul! lol.
The way you so eloquently described this ball-less bully sent shivers up my spine. Could he possibly be so misunderstood or incapable of expressing his true emotions that we'll one day be reading about the carnage he just inflicted? Or is he just a jerk? Glad you're feeling more in control of your emotions over this whole situation!!
Thank you! I think he is misunderstood by people he tries to deceive. He acts all nice, but those who have a keen sense of human behavior, knows he's a little "off."
He is a jerk with too much time on his hands.
He once told me that he's a good actor.
I think that's so. He can try all he wants to pretend he's a good person, but those with a keen sense, knows that he's not-far from it.
And, in all honesty, I feel bad for him.
Having walked in your shoes - I remember thinking, oh - the asshole husband is a jerk, and drunk, alone, sick - and my Good husband, was sober, provider and friend...
I went too far with the understanding, and didn't change anything - I felt sorry for him.... Finally one day, I realized he is ONE person, and makes is own choices. He is an adult, and he can be a drunk asshole... but did I want that much toxic drama for anther 15 years?
I didn't - he is now called my Wasband, and I'm smiling in comfort and peace, no jerks - no drunks-no verbal or physical abuse...
So is feeling sorry for him, a uncomfortable feeling or a peaceful feeling????
Quite simply, I'm going to learn from my mistakes.
Last night was a rush of reality.
I'm sorry about your ex-husband :(