Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I was diagnosed with a serious cancer in 2007. I beat it and remain cancer free. However....the thought of death is always on my mind. And when something tragic happens in the news, local or otherwise, my anxiety gets kicked into overdrive. All i can think of is how and when i am going to die. Sometimes i start to panic. Lately i have been having a hard time sleeping. One night i woke up with my heart pounding because i was dreaming someone was trying to kill me. I cannot relax. I am afraid to die alone. And this is all going to sound really weird when i tell you that 85% of the time, i wish i WERE dead. I hate my life. I have not truly lived since my cancer diagnosis. I will never be able to have kids, i work at a job where i am verbally and emotionally abused and barely make a living. I cannot concentrate. I no longer do any of the things i used to love to do. I am not living, i am barely even existing. I am feeling very anxious and depressed. I am going to try and sleep now. Thank u so much for your help!!!
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
Paranoia is miserable and can be helped a lot with medication and therapy..
Perhaps you need a med tweak??.. Cognitive therapy can help with catastrophyzing
I'm sorry you're going through this but there is good help for you...x
Anything to get you out of anxiety and depression.
It's such an important therapeutic relationship and people don't always connect..
It sounds like you're having automatic thoughts perhaps??.. and that can be worked on successfully
http://anxietynetwork.com/content/stopping-automatic-negative-thoughts
I know with my thyroid out of whack (seriously out of whack), I landed in the psych hospital. I mention it because I saw something mentioned about the thyroid. ??
Want to send you (((hugs))).
I hear you about barely existing, and I think it makes sense not to want to face death by cancer (and have fear of it returning) but also to not want to be alive or rather, not wanting to have to live.
Maybe I'm not making any sense? Maybe I'm not even responding to the issues? I'm really struggling to concentrate. I just wanted to reach out and let you know you're being heard and are not alone.
I think the comments and suggestions above have been good ones.
XO XO
...As far as being utterly alone here; I am this too...As far as illness; had a full life of it in one manner or the other...
...So I understand the overwhelming feeling of anxiety and disaster ;feeling like it will never cease from plaguing you...
...Meds do nothing for me but make me even sicker...
...I do not even work and cannot do much at all actually...Physically and emotionally drained and alone does 100% stink...Actually, the alone is the worse of the 3...
...I just try and do my best and kind of adhere to the song with lyrics that say, "Hold on for one more day."...But day after day after day of it being alone; is a headache on top of a headache...
..."How you feeling today?"...When someone tells me this; I am like; for real????...Dude, 40 years of sick and running on not one restful wink of sleep or awake...And they ask me how I feel????..
..."How would you feel dink-rocket?"...
...OR..."Don't you want to be happy?"...If taking a pill to zombify me means I am happy then the doctors are 100% nuts...Let alone the anti-psychs they once had me on about blew my heart of anxiety through the roof...
...Maybe if I was not the nail from a hammer 1,000,000 times I might be happy for cry'n out loud!!!!...
...No answer here...Just whining is all!!!!