I read the replies from the last post. You still need help. Your desires have gone beyond what we can help you with. You need a professional to monitor you and work with you.

Please call a professional with these concerns. It would be terrible if you received treatment after killing your family. You would be able to see clearer, but not be able to bring you husband and child back.

If you are having a hard time, your son may be having a hard time also. We pass our disorders to our children.

Get help and Good Luck!
T

If someone threatened to go kill a puppy what would you tell them? That they need help, and they would.

You're talking about an innocent child and your husband.

No matter what they may become (we will never know) or what they are now- you do NOT have the right to say who dies. You know this, it's why you posted here.

Get professional help NOW. Not tomorrow, not later today- NOW.

Get up out of the chair, get the phone and call the hospital. Please.

Well, if it's attention you want, judging by your post, you've got it.

Ditto to everything Gemi said. And once again...get yourself to an ER immediately. And be honest with them. They can't help you if you don't tell them everything.

Plz, drop us a line and let us know you are headed out to the hospital. Plz.

Jenn, you have been struggling for a while now. It isnt easy raising a special needs son especially if you are not getting any help from your husband. But, sweetie, you know this is not the answer or you would not be here. You NEED to go to the hospital and try to get your meds straightened out. This isnt going to solve everything. Therapy for you, your son, and your husband would be a good option. Reach out for help with your son. There are schools you can put him in that will help him. There are programs you can both be involved in, you dont have to do it all alone.

There are no easy answers....killing yourself and your family is NOT an easy answer. It leaves alot of destruction in your wake and leaves alot of other people devastated. What about your family, your father? What would you be leaving him to live with?

Reach out for help beyond here and do what you know in your heart is the right thing to do. Hugs

Jenn....

did you seek help?

I spoke to someone last night. I feel better now. I would not kill my husband, my son or anybody. They are very hard to deal with. I'm just very tired and stressed but they don't seem to see that. I'm ashamed that I considered committing such a crime. I was going to go to the hospital but they don't have good psych wards here. They treat you like cattle. The only thing we have left is the state mental hospital. That is just a little better than prison. I have an appt. with my pdoc soon and will tell here about all this. Thank you for your replies.

Jenn, I am glad you talked to someone last night and feel a little better. Thoughts like this dont just disappear, they sometimes return with a vengeance. It is important that you call your pdoc and try to get in sooner, emphasizing life threatening ideation.

There are lots of ways to find some relief for yourself, one of which is communicating with your husband how severe your emotions are and working out ways that he can help you. Check with your local church communities and see if they have any suggestions for caring for your son. Talk to your pdoc or therapist and ask them for help finding organizations to help you. Call a local mental health organization and see what they can offer. You dont have to do this alone and you dont have to feel so backed in a corner.

I wish you the best and hope you can find some solutions. Hugs

whew! I am so excited to see you are still here.