Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

nickpc20001
Okay, I am 25 and for the past 7 years I have lived out on my own. I have lived a decent life with finincial situations until I got addicted to drugs. Last year I lost everything and had to go into rehab. I am now 25 with almost everything gone I have worked for and have extreme guilt living with the family. I was diagnoised bipolar, and I have trouble sourting out my past. I have never had any good relationships always short ones and I always got bored easy. I lied to people about my credintials. I was selfish and probley hurt "a lot" of people in my past. I am feeling guilty and I have flashbacks of all my 1 night stands and all the people that I lied to just to sleep with etc.. I know I can't live in the past because I am better than that. I have only been with 1 person since rehab, and I have only done the drugs the doctors give me. It's so hard coming clean because I have to sit here and while I regain my memory I have flashbacks of my bad deeds. Has anyone else had problems like this? Does it get better? I need advise?
I want to be a better person and get clean, but my past is haunting me so bad.
I want to be a better person and get clean, but my past is haunting me so bad.
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I get flashbacks from my life too...even the ones that I didn't do(don't ask). However, I have to decide whether I'm willing to let them control me or not. It DOES get better...but it comes down to 2 things. One, do you want to get better?? Which you've already said you do. and Two, can you let go enough to move forward just a little??? And I believe you can. You seemed to have proved already that you're moving in the right direction.
If you let your past guilt hauntings control you...you will slip...and that may cause a relapse. Since you don't want that...perhaps taking just ONE day at a time.
By the way, congratulations on your sobriety.
Which is probably a lot, if not most, of it.
You Have to get up every morning, look in the mirror, and say "I am who I am, Today! Not yesterday, not last year, Today!"
...and it AIN'T easy. I still do it. Every day. :)
peace, teresa