To be honest, I sometimes wonder if I should have done the same thing. I have bipolar type II. I am being treated, but, as you know, finding the right cocktail or treatment (in my case it is treatment) does take time. Be sooooo glad that you did this yourself and that she is with a relative because I read a scary statistic the other day. Foster placements are on the rise. Parents get reported to child services left and right and there are so many children that get taken from homes. I think the number was like one in ten. I kid you not. that means, if a teacher would have gotten worried about you, she could call and an investigation must ensue.
You did the right thing and it sounds as if she will come back when the both of you are ready. You did something to head off a major issue and it showed a high level of responsibility.
Don't be hard on yourself.

thank you so much for your words , i feel better knowing that i'm doing the right thing, but it hurts so bad, i miss her so much and feel like a failiure because she is so much happier without me :( but still it is good she feels better

how do you know that she is so much happier????? ok, right now that might be true. can i tell you something? my daughter and I did not really bond until she was about one and a half. I do not know how old your daughter is but one and a half was when I started to stabilize. I was completely medicine free throughout my pregnancy so when I was home with her for the first year, things were rough. I remember not even caring when the day care worker (Mrs. C) bonded with my daughter more than I did. I didn't even care when one day a friend picked her up from day care for me, and I came to pick her up and she looked at me like she did not recognize me. I was too depressed, I guess. Then my treatment (homeopathy and nat meds) started to work. So, like I said, by age one and a half, things changed.
Look at you. You are struggling with bipolar type II also and you miss your daughter. You are ahead of where I was. My daughter would have been happier with someone else during her first year I suppose but you are in a great position. Lots of people with mental illness can't even bond with their children. Some don't want children. Hang in there. You have maternal instincts and just let getting your child back one day keep you going.

Children always want a connection with their real parents. How old is she?

Ah, 11 years old. She has gone through many of the formative years with you.

I think you are taking care of her astaka and yourself.. That's the kindest thing you can do for both of you..
Maybe SKYPE could help you stay in touch and see each other when you talk?.. It's free and you can talk as long as you want..
I hope you feel better soon..x

thank u guys

the problem is that she has adhd, ocd and anxiaty big time and probably asberger, we are going to a therepy and diagnoses for that all, but i have been asking for help for so long and alone doing it and we got sicker each day and being meen to eachother but we are so much alike and bond great somedays

that must be very difficult. i'm sorry you're going through this.

That is the key phrase..."bond great some days." that means it will only get better with treatment. just set your mind to that. I really do believe that what you set your mind to believe becomes reality in situations like these (where you can affect the outcome).

for aspergers, lots of conventional doctors recommend a wheat and dairy free diet. has she tried this? I don't know about you, but nutrition is a huge part of my treatment and have read that it is a big part of treating aspergers (which I might have) as well as bipolar type II.