Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I was in a very bad place last night. I couldn't even cry. I was just in bed listening to Chandelier over and over again thinking of ways I could self harm that would seem like an accident if anyone saw the scars. For some reason I thought it was a good idea to draw all over my face with black lipstick and smear it on the wall and door. I really scared myself this morning when I tried to get drunk on almond flavouring because the bottle claimed it was 53% alcohol. I just wanted my brain to go blank. Willing time to move faster so I can get to my appt already. As scared as I am of being on meds it can't be worse than this.
bbipolar
Wow! I'm glad you are getting some help today. At least you used black lipstick because it wipes off easily. Kudo's for you for waiting for your app today. You will feel better once you get the meds they aren't perfect but they will help. Hang in there. HUG
iam30113
Seems I read my appt card wrong. Sigh. It's tomorrow and he's fully booked today so I'm gonna have to keep calling every hour to see if there are any cancellations.Ugh!
theatrediva
Hope you feel better. It always gets better it just doesnt seem that way.
iam30113
I know. I'm holding on for that 'better'.
Desigol1979
Hang in there, honey! You're still pretty young and have so much to offer.
iam30113
Thanks Des
Nester4U
Hang on. You just have one more day and I believe just taking that first step and talking to a pdoc will give you hope. HUGS!
iam30113
"Just one more day," is what I told myself yesterday. I think I'm going to have a regular amount of allergy meds when I get home. They always knock me out for at least 10 hours and I really don't trust myself at this point.
spacekat
Oh please don't self-harm - you only have one more day!! I hate playing the Waiting Game. It sucks. Distract, distract, distract. I have surgery coming up on Wednesday and it can't come soon enough! I'm playing the Waiting Game with you!! We'll do it together! (((HUGS)))
iam30113
Thanks, Spacekat. Always good to have company with this. All the best with your surgery.
DoorMAwss
...Are they still full? Do you still have to wait 'til tomorrow?? I am IN HERE, right in this box, until you are Seen. *paces*
iam30113
Yeah, they are. I'm almost supposed to get started on meds tomorrow so that's two appts back-to-back. I need a break before I break
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