I think it would really be good to stop arguing with him or trying to convince or prove things. (unless they affect health and safety) The face in the toilet has me at a loss. Certainly it gets attention and it may help to make sure he gets positive attention regularly so the toilet doesn't become the fixture of choice in
communicating frustration. I am impressed that there was no anger or physical attack to communicate so while the toilet isn't the best choice it's not the worst either!

The only advice I can offer is maybe talk to his school therapist, letting them know what is going on. They have some suggestions.

I've had skitzoaffective disorder since I was about 4 or 5 though it was misdignosed until 13. I used to cause myself harm out of frustration or anger not so much out of being depressed I never "cut" in the normal way I guess one would cut, but I would dig my nails into my face and eyes, until I bleed, pull hair out, punch myself and slap myself hit my head against windows. when I was frustrated, I did this, because even very young I knew it was better to hurt myself out of frustration, than to hurt others out of frustration- It all came to light when I was 6 and went after my sister with a knife because she made me get off on the wrong bus stop, than at 13 and had a psyc break and compleatly lost it and beat my mother with a frying pan senseless infront of my oldest sister who tired to pull me off my mom but couldn't in my rage. I'm not saying ur son has or doens't have somthing, but seeing as you have other children in the home I would take extra procotions. If my parents had asked me who I was talking to, or yelling at, or playing with at those ages, and watched my behavior a little closely they probably would have realized the schizo part of it much sooner.

@tommymott I wasn't arguing with him. I calmly stated that the light hadn't been on. When he insisted that it had been I didn't yell or give him a hard time I just showed him that it wasn't on. He was upset because he had seen it but yet it couldn't have been "right". I don't think the toilet thing was for attention. If it was I would think he would have told someone he was going to do it instead of just going off by himself and quietly doing it. He got "caught" because he had water dripping off his face (ewwwwwww), not because he told anyone. Believe me he gets lots of attention at home, he's not the shy quiet type. I'm surprised he didn't hurt anyone either, he bit his brother hard enough to draw blood last week.

@Soss I will have to see if the school therapist has any thoughts. Honestly they haven't been very useful so far. They just aren't used to having a child with his particular needs especially so young, I don't think they know what to do either.

@judivisco Some of what you said does sound like him. He does claw at his face with his nails when he gets upset. I've also seen him punch himself in the head repeatedly. My boyfriend is worried that he'll hurt one of our other kids and wants him put on medication. I don't feel like it's safe to medicate a kid that young but I don't know if it's such a great idea to leave him off meds if he's having episodes either. My mom talked to someone about my issues when I was young but was told it wasn't possible in such a young child. She believed them and I wasn't helped, and ironically she was a special education teacher for years.

My mom went from doctor to doctor with me, because she was the odd exception of mother, and WANTED somthng done about it, like I said I was misdignosed for years, usually with depression I even was dignosed by a local doc with "depression since birth" and they would put me on antid's and it would cause a psych break (the knife was the first antid break, and the frying pan was my second) My mother was hell bent to get me help and get me medicated because she was recieving accusations of child abuse, and my mother never laid a hand on me growing up. My quality of life, became SO MUCH BETTER after I was medicated PROPERLY at 13. I wish every si ngle day that my mom had found me a more compitant doctor younger, because I feel like my life could have been far better, by 13 a lot of the vaules and morals are already instilled on a person, its hard to go back and change time and behavors even after you realize your behaviors are poor when your going though such huge changes like for example puperity.
I would make it your goal to talk to whoever will listen, Im a mommy, I worry all the time that my Bipolar will affect my son, either though learned responses from my own behavior, or because the disorder will affect him personally I am on the look out all the time and the first time I ever see a sign pointing to a possiblity I will make sure I ask all the questions I need, and have him seen by whoever it takes until I trust what there saying is right.
some people say its impossible for BP to affect children, and although childhood onset is RARE, its not impossible, other beepers will say medicating children is no quality of life for them...well, neither is being kicked out of school for being "bad" having no friends, having little means to communicate ur feelings too, being looked at by the people u grow up with as a lune for 22 years and counting I could go on... I don't regreat my mom medicating me, even when I was wrongly medicated and a zombie, because she was TRYING to help me, and in the end, it greatly payed off.

also, I should tell you that I was "Special needs" too in school, as soon as I got medicated I came out of special needs a year later (except for my learning disorder, math) but was compleatly out of the ED department. I shot up and within a year was in AP classes and on set to graduate a year early in highschool with honors. I would have been the first and only special edcuation student to have ever done that in my school- 3 months before graduation I had a break up with a boyfriend, got off my meds, went compleatly manic and dropped out of school.
This just goes further to prove that medicating children and catching things early can impact there WHOLE life. Imgine if I had been dignosed and medicated properly before 13, what kind of acheviements I might have had, and here the whole time my parents thougt I was mentally retarded and unable to process and learn. Psshhttt.

I am so sorry that your child is going through this. Judi has given you some great advice. I would definitely take him to a pdoc, one who specializes in treating children. I wish you both the best of luck and will definitley be praying for you.