When I was 17 my boyfriend's cousin passed away. To say they were close is an understatement. He passed away in an accident in which he fell down a steep hill, although he did have a brain aneursym. My boyfriend described every detail to me about how it happened, everything. It painted a mental image that I never could erase. I could see the blood, his eyes, how my bf held his head, how he cried and ran for help to the nearest neighbor. It was as if I was there, and as I write this, even though its been seven years, I'm still crying over this part of my life that's coming alive again. Needless to say, the love of my life changed. And it was me who took care of him every step of the way. I held him and caught every tear, listened to all his stories about how great his cousin was. I didn't even know him and yet I know everything. My love was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder, as his cousin died in his arms. And I feel like I shared in that condition. I had all the symptoms too. But I overlooked my well being in exchange for him regaining the will to live and love again. I didn't even realize that I hadn't taken care of myself until he and I went our separate ways, and suddenly there was a huge hole in me because he wasn't there for me to take care of. I had lost two friends now. My question is, could my possible ptsd been a contributing factor to my bipolar? I have wondered ever since then -offbalance