Bipolar Disorder Support Group
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I pay the bills every month and Will is suppose to pay me back when he gets his checks from work. So I pay all the bills upfront and then I'm patient. A lot of times I've excused some of what he owes me. So far since July of last year I've given him breaks of over 600 dollars of his share of the bills, because he was going through a hard time.
Tonight I found out that Will's tax refund had been desposited to his account on April 17th. He lied about it though and said all he got was the state refund which is very small. I only found that out after he made purchases on Ebay. He did this without me knowing which isn't such a big deal. But, the lies are a big deal to me. What is bothering me is he acts like he has no money so I feel bad and want to help him. He's complained about not having pants for work but instead of getting some he goes and buys something for the car that is completely unecessary.
He owes me over 500 bucks, and has the money but just keeps me waiting, I'm always last in line of priorities. I also need money to buy food, but even though he has it, I end up dipping into my money to buy the groceries. He eats 2/3 and I eat 1/3 of what we buy but I pay for more than 50% of the food here.
I have lost all forms of trust for him. I'm completely blown away by the tax refund lie. It's making feel so sick inside and he's at work so I have to wait until tonight to speak to him face to face. I wish we had never met so that I didn't have to be abused like this.
When we met he was facing homelessness because he had an injury and lost his job. So I gave him a place to live. I make all of his meals including packing his lunches. I do his laundry and all the rest of the chores because I didn't want him to have to do anything but play once he came home from work.
I don't know what to do at all.
I guess I don't feel any love at all, just used which is crushing my heart and soul. I don't understand how he can do this to me.
Tonight I found out that Will's tax refund had been desposited to his account on April 17th. He lied about it though and said all he got was the state refund which is very small. I only found that out after he made purchases on Ebay. He did this without me knowing which isn't such a big deal. But, the lies are a big deal to me. What is bothering me is he acts like he has no money so I feel bad and want to help him. He's complained about not having pants for work but instead of getting some he goes and buys something for the car that is completely unecessary.
He owes me over 500 bucks, and has the money but just keeps me waiting, I'm always last in line of priorities. I also need money to buy food, but even though he has it, I end up dipping into my money to buy the groceries. He eats 2/3 and I eat 1/3 of what we buy but I pay for more than 50% of the food here.
I have lost all forms of trust for him. I'm completely blown away by the tax refund lie. It's making feel so sick inside and he's at work so I have to wait until tonight to speak to him face to face. I wish we had never met so that I didn't have to be abused like this.
When we met he was facing homelessness because he had an injury and lost his job. So I gave him a place to live. I make all of his meals including packing his lunches. I do his laundry and all the rest of the chores because I didn't want him to have to do anything but play once he came home from work.
I don't know what to do at all.
I guess I don't feel any love at all, just used which is crushing my heart and soul. I don't understand how he can do this to me.
So you've done everything but wipe his little tushie and now you're left with this?
I don't know him yet a player is a player is a player. The faces change but never their M.O.
I wish I had some wise words for you- but if it were me I'd be pissed as hell. Hurt as hell too.
(((((big hugs for a crappy day))))
It is important to sit down with him tonight and lay it all out. Everything that you feel and why you have done the things you have. Then MOST importantly is that you set boundaries with him from this point on. Get your money that he owes you now, stop paying his bills no matter what sob story he tells you, make sure he pays his share of the bills from now on or he has to suffer the consequences.
You have to take care of you too. You have to be number one and protect your well being. That isnt happening here. You are leaving yourself wide open for him to continue to hurt you, use you, and lie to you. Take control girl and let him know that although you care for him, you are not going to enable him to use you and think only of himself.
I will be thinking of you and praying that you can work this out.
Hugs
I thank you for the support and bluntness as I know that the truth of your words are exactly what I need to hear. I pray to God I have the strength to pick myself up out of this and live for my kids and grands. I feel useless and ugly though. Very confused.
Don't get depressed. Sounds like you've spoiled him and he thinks he can do whatever he wants. Now you get to flex your muscles and show him he can't. If he loves you, he'll be truly apologetic, sleep on the sofa and start eating his own cheese. Wish you the best. {{hugs}}
Being beside yourself...
((HUGS))
He'll be home in less than a few hours and I'm going to confront him. Now I'm just plain angry that he would lie to me as he did and cause me the anguish of this embarassment. To think I wanted to die because of something like this. I'm furious at him but not going to not blow a vein when he gets home. We're going to talk. That 'man' has some explaining to do. If I lose him because he's a loser then it's his loss LOL