Somebody said this to me once when I was explaining to them my suicidal thoughts and although it kind of offended me a little at the time, I think it might be useful to post here. *I've also posted this on the depression forum as well.

The dreaded word: Suicide. It brings fear to our hearts and yet some of us wish so desperately to complete this final act, to end our earthly suffering. What many of us in this awful depressive funk can't really fully grasp is that suicide is death and death is forever (at least, depending on your beliefs, of this particular life). I know that because many of us feel dead on the inside, suicide seems like a viable option, since our souls have seemed to escape us anyway. It's just the body that's here now, so we must destroy it to relieve us of our agonizing pain.

But, because our heads are cloudy with a dark fog, we forget that we have a past- a past that included both good and bad times. There were times where we all laughed, felt joy, and yes- even peace, long ago. There were other times where we cried, screamed, shouted at the sky, some other time in our lives. The point I am trying to make is that things change, including feelings. The happiness we once felt has eluded us and is replaced with a sorrow that we cannot escape from. What we fail to realize in the midst of our darkest hours is that the pain does not last. Suicide does. And even though we see no point sometimes in breathing, we have no options out of desperately bad situations, we are empty and lacking and miserable inside, there are most likely better days coming if we could only hang in there to see them.

OK so now I am going to get to the point. My well-meaning friend said to me after explaining that I was ready to kill myself, "If you are going to commit suicide, you might as well take the biggest risk on the planet. What does it matter when you'll soon be dead anyway?" And at first I was kind of like, wow harsh, but I've been thinking a lot about it. And she is right.

So you wanna die, end your pain, kill yourself? So do I. Let's not. Let's do something crazy instead. Of course I do NOT recommend overly crazy risk-taking to those of us that feel a little suicidal but are not planning on acting on it. I have made a suicide plan and am pretty ready to go through with them. Maybe you have, too. I encourage you to realize that you have another option. You might be thinking "I'm just going to die anyway, what's the point?" and to that I say you are correct! So instead of offing ourselves, let's go nuts. Get a little wild. What is one thing you've always wanted to do? Live a little fearlessly. Gamble. Take a trip to Italy and spend all your f'in money- won't matter when you're dead right? Fly to Bermuda. Tell that person you have a crush on that you love them. Sit all day at your favorite store and look around your surroundings. Get drunk. Get in a fist fight. Take goofy pictures with your friends. Go bungee-jumping or parachuting. Swim with dolphins. Climb a mountain. Do anything.

I myself have taken some risks but not overly-risky ones because I still have a 2% will to live. Some of these include telling my female boss (I am a female) who was flirting with me that I was falling in love with her. (She rejected me politely but never denied mutual feelings- just a "boss" issue). I have began spending time with random friends I haven't seen in years and posting pics on social media. I smoke cigarettes when last year I would have protested for the banning of them (If I'm going to die soon, who cares about cancer?) I've always wanted to be a writer so I wrote a poem and got it published. (I also submitted tons more of my work only to get rejected fifty more times). I'm having a big party at the end of the month, since it will probably be my last.

Get the point? You only get one chance at You. Decided you're going to commit suicide? Don't. Do something crazy instead. You might as well. Death is waiting at the end of the finish line anyway so why jump to it? Someday we will find our relief through death. Not today. Not now. Not yet. We are still breathing even if it's barely so, and we can do something more productive than ending our own lives. I encourage all of you, esp those of you who have considered ending it all this month or next week or tonight. Don't. Instead, drive to a new town. Hold a baby and see it open its eyes into this world. Go on a ridiculously freaky ferris wheel. Read your favorite book 5 more times. Buy a giant cake and eat it all by yourself (or pizza ;) ). Learn a new language. So skiiing. Spend all your freakin' money, who needs it when your dead (provided it won't hurt others, like family). Point is we're headed to the grave and we might as well go out in style! And maybe, just maybe, after you have done so many crazy and wild things that you are sure you are ready to die- maybe you'll realize that this world isn't so bad afterall. Maybe you will be ready to live again.
Peace and Love to all of you.