Isn't there a group here for women wanting to have babies?
I've talked to many women who had concerns yet delivered healthy babies. And as the father of 3 boys I can say that everything changes when you hold that newborn in your arms.
The danger with meds is not withdrawl but very real damage. Your doc should be able to discuss your fear and point out allowable meds during pregnancy. You can even search for information online. Many women say that pregnancy hormones made up for lack of meds. So get more information and see how you feel.

sf, have you talked to your pdoc about carrying a baby without meds? I gave birth to and raised four sons. I did not take meds while pregnant
and was blessed not to have any episodes while pregnant. I actually felt better while pregnant probably because of the hormone changes.

EVERYONE is different, so there is no mold for who can and can't handle "med free" while pregnant. I just don't want you to be discouraged. Having a child is an important decision but more so if you are dealing with Bipolar disorder. Only you know what you can and can't handle and it is important to know yourself well before making the decision.

I have alot of family support and have been through alot of therapy
so I began well equipt. It was very difficult raising four sons with this disorder and I/they have had issues as they grew up, but I would not trade it for anything. I would wish differently for them but they tell me they are grateful to be alive and loved.

Hope this helped in some way. xo

I have had these feelings, yes. It's sad. And hard.

I had my son before I was dx'd with BP and a slew of other mess, and decided I could not go thru pregnancy and raising another child.

Aside from the exact same reasons you've mentioned, I also thought about "what if I pass on BP to my child?"

It's hard.

(((big hugs)))

I can relate. I've personally decided not to get pregnant, and it was a hard decision. If you have a good history of being stable, it is possible to find an adoption agency that will let you adopt, so that's kinda my plan once I can afford to.

I DO get the sadness and frustration and confusion. It's a really hard decision to make either way, and if you decide not to get pregnant, that's a really sad and hard thing to come to grips with. I imagine that getting pregnant would be a little scary, too. I cried for a long time over this issue and still get sad and angry. I hope you find some peace.

I struggled with the idea of not having kids and when I finally made my mind up not too have any I got pregant lol... I was able to stay on my lithium throughout I was fearful something was going to go wrong but it didnt! I had many scans for birth defects concerning the heart and any abnormalities I also spoke you many spealist about baby going through withdrawl from,lithium but the transition was smooth... I would say talk to you doctor. About what meds your on and your feelings toward possible outcomes every situation is different. Remeber that even people who are healthy have birth defects there is no gurantee for anyone.... That being said its hard choice and adoption is always an option too, keep your options open talk to your partner about everything and do your own research! I love my baby I worry all the time if I will be a good parent or if he willl ever get this illness but I think all parents worry theres always a chance of diease, hurt, illness or disability thats life for everyone but theres beauty in all of it... Sorry to much rant do what you feel is right for you

I've got babies on the brain too and we are actively TTC right now. I saw a perinatal psychiatrist to discuss staying on medication while pregnant and she gave me the green light on some, not on others. She did suggest that nursing was out as going back on your antidepressant IMMEDIATELY after giving birth is a good idea. Like, the same day, she said. Both my sisters had terrible postpartum.

Anyway, going to see her made us feel a lot better. I do plan on going off most of my meds and seriously reducing the one I want to stay on. But, the doc said that my history of suicidal ideation and violent mixed episode suggested that I probably should stay on SOMEthing, as truly, harming yourself or winding up in jail is just about as harmful to your baby...

I don't know where you are located, but here is a link to the Women's Mood Disorder Clinic at UNC Chapel Hill. If you email them they can give you a psychiatrist's name in your area.

Good luck!!!!

http://www.med.unc.edu/psych/wmd

sfa,

I decided when I was in high school that I didn't want to have kids because I had a traumatic childhood and was (still am) fearful of treating children the way I was treated. This issue has come up several times in therapy. At this point I'm still ok with not having kids, however, I know my husband would like a family. That is what is difficult for me, I'm so terrified of belittling, neglecting, resenting, and abusing a child that my husband will not get to experience fatherhood. He knew how I felt long before we got married and he's accepted it. There is a a history of mental illness on both my mother's and father's sides of the family and he's witnessed not only my issues but the issues of my parents, sibling, and uncles just to drive the point home ;-)

It is such a personal decision and I do know that there are doctors and specialists who can help you go over your options. If this is something you really want I don't think you have to be limited to just yes or no--a few people have suggested adoption which is a great way to help out another person (and perhaps a family) and be a mother. Talk to your general practitioner and therapist/pdoc to see what's available then go from there.

Being conscientious about this decision is a sign that you're already a good mom ;-)

I was out of control and unmedicated when my child was born. I didn't think children were in my future either just because I knew something was wrong.

Maybe if you wanted to have a child you could discuss this with all of your doctors. One thing I can say though is that if you have lots of wounds, starting to heal them in therapy is very beneficial to family and children. You have to learn to parent...and you have to realize having a child is all about the child~not the child completing us. It isn't a child's job to complete us it is our job and therapy can help do that. We have to give of ourselves as unselfishly as possible to our children. We have to try and fill their needs as best as we can and put our needs second.

Good luck with all this. Learn all you can :)

Thank you all for your advice. I have not talked seriously to my pdoc or obgyn about starting a family. I have been through 5 yrs of therapy working on my issues form childhood so i am in a much better place with those issues. I have been stable almost a yr but I have a history of self harm so maybe not all my meds. I will just have to wait and see.