I understand. I am the same. In my case, I feel guilty for asking anyone for help. It is probably cuz my family sucks.

I have been in your shoes several times before learning it's okay to ask for help. Sending you strength and good thoughts!!!

For years, my hubby didn't know the extent of my illness and it wasn't until he saw me psychotic for the first time that he asked if he could help me. I saw receiving help as a sign of weakness. But as time went by, he couldn't help me all on his own, and I needed to widen my circle of support.

It's OK to ask for help. That's what the pros are there for. And here - ALWAYS ask for help if you need it! You've got yourself a crowd just waiting to jump in and help!

I was so very proud until I knew the full extent of my illness. The help isn't as much as the issue any longer as the stigma people look at me with. For example: I have no problem asking if they have an indigent program and filling out the papers. But there are always at least two or more people looking at me as the boogie man or "freaky Jason". I'm a human being trying my best to manage one day at a time. I'm not a part of a Stephen King novel. Those looks and my pride way less important than my mental health is what I keep focusing on.