I am so sorry Derek :( (((((HUGS))))) It is okay to share these things here :) It is tremendously painful for you obviously.

I feel the same way and I'm 38. My 18yo daughter has ten times better chance of getting a career oriented position than I am. I also see all the people from my high school graduation on FaceBook and they all have beautiful homes, new cars, genius kids, and great professional jobs -- many of them Dr's and a lot of IT managers. And the ones who are dr's are people I directly knew in high school and believe me, I am a lot smarter, higher IQ. I had the potential. I feel like I shit it away.
I'm sorry that I didn't give you a better, reassuring answer. I did want you to know that there's someone else out here that understands.
xoxo
Feel better

Dear Derek,

I know this is difficult and painful for you.

However, please don't compare yourself to anyone else.

Take good care of yourself!!! GOD BLESS you Derek!!!!!

My work back ground is fuzzy too.
I think that people put too much emphasis on the lack of work and not the quality of work you did do.
If a woman loves you then she loves you for you not your job or lack there of. You may be meeting the wrong type of woman.
ttfn AnnieEm

My lil sister told me never to look at facebook, bc everyone is going to mke their life bigger and better than it really is, I have problems similar to yours.

I understand too. I've had BP since I was 7 and tested high gifted on I.q. tests. Hold your head high and be proud that you've survived and are surviving one of the shittiest diseases around. I went through seven jobs in two years. It's not easy for us. We have to take each victory as it comes.

I'm not the richest guy in the world, but I've got a job I like and a boss who really tries to understand what I'm going through. My wife and kids love me and help me through my black times when my demons are at their worst.

I'm 43 now and sometimes feel like I'm a failure but then I think of all that I've lived through and all that I've accomplished despite having BP. Btw I was only diagnosed six years ago. It's been a rough ride but I live for each day and for the ones I love.

Be strong my friend.

I'm 31 and I feel that way often. I'm not working now and am trying to believe in myself enough to try to get a job. I like working in cafes and even though it's not prestigious and iI'm not there for the money, if I'm happy doing it there's nothing to be ashamed of. Being an artist doesn't make finding a career any easier either.
About the girls-I'm bad with relationships but I'm pretty sure a decent woman would prefer to have a kind man rather than a rich one.

I am glad that you posted here. BP can be a very traumatic thing to deal with; it has its own behavior that it imposes on us individually. I am glad that you are able to distinguish your value apart from money. Sad thing society puts values on money where it shouldn't. I hate it. I have had several jobs until about 5 years ago. Most others only lasted a year or two at most. I wanted this response to be about you.
I do understand the feeling of working underpaid of what you know you are worth. Maybe you can see if an agency can help you find a better paying job? Just a thought. With time and work, it paid off for me, and I was picky so I found something I like. Keep sharing my friend, we are here for you.
Peace

I wrote something earlier this morning but I guess I did not press the right botton to add it to the board. Don't worry so much about what other people think or say. They are not in your shoes. You have to stay positive and know that you'll find a job somehow because bipolar people have one thing in common: they are very creative. As for women well it will take someone who understands BP but you will find her. She is out there. It is just not the right time yet because you need to find yourself first. Don't worry... find small goals first and keep writing on this board because we are listening and do understand.

I felt that way for a long time too until I realized life is too short to dwell on how other people look at you. Your job is to try to do your best. That's it. The right woman will see you for who you are, it may take time but I'm sure it will happen.

PM

As someone said, the right lady will come along. It took me a long time to find a good partner and I found one.

It will happen when it is meant to happen.

I truly understand what you're saying. I'm 37 and was diagnosed with cyclothymia 5 years ago. It also explained why my career went into the tank: 6 years ago I was a bank Vice-President, and now my only option is to go back to being a stockbroker like I was when I was 25.

Anyway, this may not help, but this recession has wrecked millions of careers. There are so many people starting over it's not even funny. A salary I would've laughed at 8 years ago I would take in a heartbeat today. This will pass. The most important thing for people like us is that we have jobs that offer stability and routine. In understand that it's easier said that done, but I found that it worked.

Hang in there! You're not a loser by any definition.

It is rough
....how should we messure success by the money in the bank or the letters behind our name.... I think we all have worth and purpose and yours is to serve your community and this support group is community. You are doing me a great service because I feel your struggle. I have faced the very same pressures. They never quite leave but you are staring them down and facing them head on. Just ask your self now: how much power does this pain I feel have over me....how much energy do I choose to give it. .......

I know how you feel and have been there and back I have been on disability for way too long and I will never work again I am unable to do any sort of work to earn a decent living so they say BUT I have my gifts and Turned them on full blast I do languages nearly 20 now I write blogs which have turned into books now that are available for sale I am proud of what I have accomplished in the past few years

There have been setbacks but the writing is something that I am truly proud of I have over 5,000 people who have read my blogs and that is only one place There are so many that I hope to have helped informed inspired or just entertained It is something important to me and it seems to be important to others

What I am trying to say is find where you sit in life then stand and walk to the direction it takes you sometimes we do not live life we let life live for us We need to step up and take a stance and make decisions which are positive You will find you way again and even if you lose it again you will have another chance to live you life the way i which You want and not how others want you to \

Good luck

byweba