I am 28. As of now, I don’t have or want children. I don’t want to go off my meds for an extended time to conceive and gestate. I also don’t want to pass on mental illness. I’ve considered asking my sister(different father) to carry for me but she is high risk. With my past psychiatric history I do not believe the state would allow me to adopt.
I’ve already resigned that I will never have my own children. I have 5 nieces and nephews with more to come in the years inevitably.

Hi lady bug as you know I have twin boys none of it planned. Did I want kids...I’m not sure I guess if I had kids that would be fine but if I didn’t that would be ok too. My twins are not a year yet so I’m a new mom but I can say is my friend use to tell me this all the time. Now I look back and think it was the best advice I have ever received. I use to just say ya ya ya. She said no one person or thing is going to make you feel whole until you feel that inside with just being you. I rolled my eyes. At night when it so still I talk to her every night not sure if she can hear me but it is the only way I can be with her. I tell her she was right and laugh because she would fall over hearing that I admitted she was right. My point is ladybug is a child isn’t going to complete you (I hate when people say that) I’m sure you are saying easy for you to say but work on filling your soul up inside and a lot of times when you feel whole that is when life can open up in every which way. It is like saying if I had this I would be so happy or complete than when you get that you come up with something else that would make you feel complete. You are 35 not 65 I know lots of women that have had abates in their 40s actually that is quite normal these days. So you are so far from being dried up.

As far as being a mom and bipolar well it is scary as hell. I have never been more petrified. I have no family so it is just me and my boys. I have a group of dear friends we are a bunch of misfits from all different walks of life...gay, straight, black white married and widowed. Very rich and poor and in between. I haven’t done much right in my life but my friends I got that right they mean the world to me they are my family and I know if anything happened to me either physically or mentally they would step right in. To be honest I think that my kids would be better off with just my friends and not me. This is a huge conversation I deal with talking to my therapist trying to trust enough in myself that I am enough for my kids.

Sorry I was in an accident and I’m on pain meds so if I don’t make sense I can blame it on meds. Take care of yourself and no one knows what the world has planned for us so don’t give up hope that is not a good place to live your life ladybug. Namaste Pema

at 35yrs you are a young woman. Many today do not start their families until this age = My sister had her first at 37yrs and second at 40. Two beautiful children. Another woman I know did not meet her partner until she was 43 and subsequently had three children and she and her husband are very happy together. My own mother did not have her last child until she was 46yrs old. Two women I know had their last children at 50 so you have many years ahead of you. Armed with knowledge about BP and other diseases of the mind you would have the advantage of being able to see things earlier in any child you might have and get any help needed.
Do not close any doors just yet. we never know what is around the corner. For now just keep building your lovely new life and concentrate on you for a little while.

I hear you irish. But I'm 34 and September is around the corner and its dooms day. September 2020 will be the worst birthday ever. It seems times have changed. I worked in the infertility deparment at the pharmacy. It was a nightmare. Women even 25 were having issues. How do you live childfree as a man or woman? Pema how old are your twins? Kisses when did you decide you would not have kids because of bipolar disorder.

A friend from this forum also wanted children, but gave up in her 40's. Next thing you know she was pregnant with her first, and then a second. She did not take meds while pregnant, and got very depressed. But she went back on meds, and really recovered well, both times.

She loves her children, and she is a great mom, too, as well as being an excellent writer.

My sister could not get pregnant. She finally did testing, and despite having endometriosis, she was fine to have children. Her husband got checked, turns out he was the problem. My sister focuses on hobbies and her cat and dog. She is not officially diagnosed with bipolar, but she is just like me, and has bad OCD and anxiety, which our mom has. Personally, I think it is best she never had children. I do t think she is mentally strong enough.

I was blessed to have 4 children and 6 grandchildren. I wasn't diagnosed in those days, so I was med free for all my pregnancies. It would be a hard choice to go off meds for me. Although I take a few cancer drugs for Rheumatoid Arthritis, which cause birth defects. It would be. very hard to go off! I hope that helps.

I'm older now but decided I did not want children.... I do have an adult now niece and nephew

You just had a bad break up lady.... I wouldn't make anymore life altering decisions while in this state especially if you have wanted children in the past.... Big hug.....xo

I have a 21 yr old son. He has Asperger's Syndrome. I had him at 28. At the time I didn't know I had bp. When he was a few months old, something terrible happened that destroyed his father and mine's marriage. It was rough raising a special needs child as a single mom. I remarried when he was 6 but his stepfather and had a lot of trouble getting a long. His stepfather passed away due to cancer a few years ago.
It was back to being a single mom. People think I'm too easy on him but they don't understand what it's like dealing with someone with Asperger's. Confrontation is one of my triggers.
You have to ask yourself, can I handle raising this child no matter what?
Also, think about the reasons you want to be a parent.
Big hugs.

I am currently coming to terms with not having any children as well. I have recently been diagnosed with anxiety and it has been bad lately. I would be considered high risk in pregnancy because of my age and health and I know that there is no way I could survive months without living in panic that something would be wrong. It is probably the cause of some of my recent anxiety, coming to terms with it all. I'm sorry that is something you so wanted and are grieving. Try to remember to be gentle with yourself, your health and wellness is important.