All of us live a normal life, at least how we define it. There's no reason you should feel bad due to quitting your job since it was obviously contributing a great deal of stress to your life. You might want to consider applying for disability/SSD. I was covered under it for a number of years and it saved my life.

Not necessarily unfit to work or live a normal life but it takes a lot of work. I have had a lot of counseling and a couple of inpatient stays and they can teach you to cope with daily anxiety without the Xanax; although sometimes the Xanax is a necessity. I know from experience. I do think that 13 pills a day is excessive.
One of my favorite ways of dealing with anxiety without the help of an anti anxiety is to wear a hair band on my wrist. When I start to feel anxious I snap it a few times to bring focus back to myself and not the situation. It seems to help me somehow. You could give it a try.
I hope things get better for you.

Unfortunately, I can't apply for disability because it doesn't exist where i live :(

How about a part time job?
I'm on 10+ pills and yeah, it worries me. But I get periodic blood tests to make sure all the organs are working correctly.

There are other meds for anxiety besides Xanax. I'm on Metoprolol, and it works great.

Working has been a long journey for me while dealing with this illness. I went through many jobs and am working steadily now while taking an online class to try and venture into something new.

It's really really challenging to handle stress at the workplace but it's not impossible! Even those of us with bp. Hugs of support. Keep trying new things, and I agree, counseling and learning stress management techniques can help.

I had to quit my job of nine years because my anxiety was so bad. Its hard but if you were having nightmares it doesnt saund like that was the best job for you. You will find something else when you heal. It takes time. We had no income when i quit then i got laid off of my job after that it was so rough we had to have help from family too. Thank God for family.

Thank God for family indeed.

Try and be kind to yourself - we need to take care of ourselves first. And if that means not working because it's too difficult (and I completely understand THAT!) and anxiety provoking, then that's okay, too! Have you considered individual talk or group therapy? Just a thought. Sending big hugs your way.

you and your doc need to decide which meds are best to suit your medical needs Not your mother. are you on 13 different medications? or just 13 pills (eg I take 5 vitamin d3 pills/day but that counts as only 1 med and two tyroxine pills also only one med?/). people are often misled and alarmed by the number of pills we take which can actually be only a few medications because of dosages -. try not to beat yourself up because the teaching assistant job did not work out. you have come this far. i forget, do you have a pdoc and/or tdoc? what do they think? maybe it just wasn't the right fit for you..in any case your mother should not have any input on which medications you take. i hope you can talk to your pdoc/GP about these issues. big fat hugs to you. Bibolar is a recognised medical illness and as such part of the treatment is medication. this can be combined with other things like exercise, relaxation, reading, music, dbt, cbt, diet etc... but the whole person needs to be taken into consideration not just one part and certainly without judgement or old fashioned views. take good care of you and do what is best for your individual case. a good rule is 'do you need it, does it work and can you live with the side effects?.' good luck with it all.

@spacekat : well , I tried speaking with my Pdoc , but since we don't have group therapy sessions where i live ( mental illness is an abyssal stigma ) , I can't participate in it . The closest thing i have to group therapy is you guys :)

@Irishwriter: 13 pills , 7 individual meds .

@everyone: Thanks for taking the time to write , hugs to all of you :)

you might think about the possibility of working from home?

maybe translation services..your English is very good

@acuriousfish : thanks for the compliment, made me smile :)
Yes , I am considering freelancing ,mainly a freelance illustrator on fiverr.
Translation might be a good idea . I'll give it a shot .
Thanks for the advice :)

zeinna

Hello !
It's good to see you.

I know you've worked very hard at your education, you have done a lot for yourself and I think you should be proud ! !

You'll find something...and like fish said ...your English is good , try something along those lines , translations