hi, welcome to the group. You might be better posting this on the main board as it can be a bit quiet here.

Grief/ trauma can cause people to have psychotic breaks and they may actually be "healthy".

the stalking thing sounds more like something else.

to get to the root of bipolar, apart from the depression you get times when you are "fast". You think faster, talk faster, have more ideas which get wilder over time, need less sleep. Also your inhibitions decrease. Combine those two and you get things like hypersexuality, gambling, over spending and finally delusions and hallucinations.

That state needs to last about a week to be counted, rather than just a few hours. Other people will see you as acting totally out of character.

I'd suggest you get a second opinion from a psychiatrist.

thanks for the reply..... i do think I have odd depressive breakdowns.... so leery about seeing a psychiatrist again since I am feeling okay now and had a bad experience... also have a bit of an insurance issue which dictates that I only go to one place, the same place I don't want to go back to....

my behavior in the past does concern me, but lately I have been better at being okay with having crushes and feeling attracted to people and letting that come and go and I think I've made progress. I don't understand myself though. I do love my husband and want my marriage to work.

and I do think being an incest victim can lead to be confused about boundaries and appropriate sexual behavior..... my uncle was very mean to me and called me names like "tubby" so when a guy acts mean to me maybe it feels familiar or something.

I think in high school, I was bothering a popular guy to act out and get my parent's attention because I hadn't told them what happened because my uncle went to jail anyway. I left the school after a teacher's meeting that only my mom attended about me bothering him. the other situation was my son's godfather. it was weird as an incest victim to have a man I was attracted to giving my children gifts. He did remind me of my mother's family in lot of ways. I did come on to him while I was having a weird reaction to an antidepressant and it was hard to accept being rejected as a friend from an incident that didn't seem totally in my control. I still feel badly about it, even though it's been years.

I agree that seeing a psychiatrist or at least start with you GP to talk about some of this when you're able to
It doesn't sound like bipolar to me however you need a professional to take some time with you for a diagnosis
It sounds like you have post traumatic stress disorder from childhood trauma
And perhaps look at the signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder??.... Stalking or the desire to stalk isn't a bipolar trait
Welcome

i don't know. i'm not a doctor. probably not the safest thing to ask for a diagnosis from a bunch of non-medical strangers.

as others have said, the only way to know for sure is to get an evaluation from a professional.

I kind of like to think of myself as being "undiagnosed" because it makes life seem more unknown and full of possibility. I see no danger in discussing my issues..... do psychiatrists have so much authority that patients may not even discuss something away from them? ;)