Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I just had a huge moment writing this. Crying.....then end of my rope and the end of the road kind of thing. But I still like to just say it out loud so to speak so it's not running aroun d in my head. Here goes:
I am at my wits ends. I feel like I'm slipping more and more away everyday. I have no life lines and I can't take muck more. I feel like I don't want to do another day. I am sick with bipolar and since my mom died, I've been trying to take care of my dad who as always been a very controlling, mean and cruel person. My brother used to be his target a long time back but now he can spend lots of money on my dad, so my dad loves anybody that can lavish him with gifts. I however am left in this struggle alone. I serve my dad hand and foot but everyday is darted with jabs and demeaning comments. Due to my illness, I had been depending on my parents, quite a bit. To the point I have no money and no car and I'm stuck....hopelessly stuck. As a Christian and as my 1000 friends on here, probably at least 500 will say this is my fault and my own Christian down fall. You maybe right. I don't know at this point. I just know that I'm slowly slipping away. My brother and his wife believe my dad, that I am the perpertrator. How this can be after the hell my brother received from him for years makes me wonder how he could believe that way, but all I know is they have cut me off and it has added more fuel to the fire because my dad knows I am isolated.
really glad I put it here instead.
I am at my wits ends. I feel like I'm slipping more and more away everyday. I have no life lines and I can't take muck more. I feel like I don't want to do another day. I am sick with bipolar and since my mom died, I've been trying to take care of my dad who as always been a very controlling, mean and cruel person. My brother used to be his target a long time back but now he can spend lots of money on my dad, so my dad loves anybody that can lavish him with gifts. I however am left in this struggle alone. I serve my dad hand and foot but everyday is darted with jabs and demeaning comments. Due to my illness, I had been depending on my parents, quite a bit. To the point I have no money and no car and I'm stuck....hopelessly stuck. As a Christian and as my 1000 friends on here, probably at least 500 will say this is my fault and my own Christian down fall. You maybe right. I don't know at this point. I just know that I'm slowly slipping away. My brother and his wife believe my dad, that I am the perpertrator. How this can be after the hell my brother received from him for years makes me wonder how he could believe that way, but all I know is they have cut me off and it has added more fuel to the fire because my dad knows I am isolated.
really glad I put it here instead.
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Good Thursday to you!I've been watching a really long trial on Youtube these last couple of nights and will finish tomorrowHopefully I'll be in the land of nod soon and I hope my peeps are having sweet dreams followed by a great daySending hugs...xo
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Mom and I have errands to run this morning. She said we can get sushi for lunch though. I go back to work today. What are you looking forward to this weekend?
If you have a therapist, sometimes sharing writing can help get some expressions of how you're feeling rolling.
Wishing you well. I'm sorry you're hurting right now but hang in there.
Don't blame yourself for the situation you are in. You are strong for sharing this with us.
You need to find some different Christians (and there are so many who are loving and caring -- not condemning!)
Big hugs, clajo. I'm glad you wrote it all out and Here, not on the "I'm going to immediately jump on your back" Facebook pages - I think DS is the safest place to write (and I'm a pretty paranoid person)
I'm so sorry you're in this situation. You're right that your dad probably has a pathological need to keep you isolated and dependent, yet taking care of him. He needs someone to abuse. One thing that might help a tiny bit... when most people insult someone needlessly, they're usually saying what they think of themselves. So try to think of what your dad says to you as things he's really saying to himself.
Your illness is not your fault, and never will be. Don't let people tell you that. It's just as much a physical illness as a mental one.
Hang in there, hugs
being a care-giver can be a thankless job and it is not easy. It's much easier to throw money at the parent than to do what you do so think highly of yourself for that!! it also takes a stronger person to do the day in day out thing than just lavish gifts on somebody. Hang in there!!
If you are not appreciated, do not let anyone bring you down- you help those who do appreciate it. It's a very tough thing to separate yourself from those you love, but sometimes it is necessary for your health, especially if they are the triggers.
Just one step is empowering...glad you came here to vent :)
Big Hugs!
You are better off posting here. I'm glad getting it all out helped you feel better.
Sorry for your situation.