Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
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Okay, sorry for the double post, but I wanted to ask for advice on something else. So one thing that I never would want to do to anyone is to make a friend into my counsellor. I know that this is a bad thing and can really tear down a relationship. That's why I see a professional counsellor and also take meds. However, there is this one friend I have and I feel that I have almost turned her into a counsellor. I realize this, and I've been trying to stop it, but I feel that I've been dependent on her for so long that our friendship has been affected. She's not the only one I go to for support, but I go to her far more than to others and tell her more than I do to others. The way I talk to her is also different than how I talk to my other friends. I have told her several times that I also want her to share things with me, but she always says she has nothing bad in her life. I don't know if it's because she's trying to stay strong for me or what. She's lost it on me a few times because she honestly feels like she's become my counsellor. I just don't want this pattern to continue. I feel that we are going to have to set up some boundaries. Any advice on what I should do so that this cycle is broken?
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good luck!
*hugs*, and good luck -
So, it only takes ONE to BREAK the cycle.
Try your hardest not to tell her your problems. Talk to her only about the GOOD (or 'normal') things in your life.
Yep. Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. Maybe say what kind of mood your in, but don't take it any further than that, as to any struggles you are having.
Keep encouraging her to tell you about what's going on in HER life. It doesn't have to be just problems. Talk about GOOD things, too!!!
Good luck. Sometimes, once the dynamics of such a relationship are changed, both parties find that they're not getting what they want or need from the relationship anymore, and it kind of fizzles out.
Hope you can stay friends and achieve and maintain a healthy relationship with each other. (((((Hugs)))))
Carla
I have to agree with SunCloud..you have already figured it out,boundaries.
I can relate to your post tho.I have this one really close friend who i always talk to whne im having a bad day. I could call her at 1 in the morning if need be and she would always be there for me. Sometimes i feel guilty for always running to her and making her my counselor. she suffers from bi polar to.
Good Luck in whatever you decide:)
I have some friends, good friends, who I share my soul with and I trust them. One has been my friend for over 20 years and we are very close. A problem arises when the relationship becomes one sided. You have already recognized this and know it can/will be a problem.
Some people are careful not to share even the good things in their life if they feel it will take away from what you need from them emotionally. One thing I have found helpful in preventing this is to "stay still, stay quiet" when I am with a friend who I am sharing alot with. Sometimes they need to know that it is okay to talk and that there are times you can just be quiet together and know that you are there for each other.
We can overburden some people with our troubles and they begin to feel weighted down but they dont want to abandon us especially in our time of need.
Maybe you could plan some outings together just for fun.....go shopping or to a concert. Take a walk or go for coffee and just "be". Make an effort not to talk about anything personal in your life but maybe talk about things you enjoy or would like to learn to do and ask her what she would like to do that you might do together.
Friendship should always be two way to be comfortable. Two important things for me in a friendship is "dont have unreasonable expections" and "don't assume, communicate".
Just let things happen but be aware and be still. Silence may feel uncomfortable but it is also fruitful...xo