Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

8,884 Members
129,554 Posts
0 Online
Mental Health
/ Bipolar Disorder Support Group

A Conversation about Suicidal Thoughts

GinaWonder
GinaWonder

I think the title alone should be TRIGGER WARNING!!!!


If not aware, its best to share about these thoughts when not going thru them.  Thats what I'm thinking, sharing and expressing these controlling destructive and Temporary thoughts more defused and factually.  Or not - emotional crisis always welcome here!  


When I realized I didn't have anyone to talk to today, and/or I didn't want to talk to anyone - I thought of here!!! 


Alone and yet never alone, thank you all member that are here keeping this group stable and dependable LOL never thought those words applied to us! It's true, your here and I thank you....


I'm going through weird thoughts but not in a dangerous place, yet enough danger to scare me - I'll share my stuff in the comment section and lets share, chat, discuss, helping ourselves and others, ya never know!  (I'm one of the few people that can't stop cracking jokes during the most serious of moments - sorry if I offend.)


Lots of layers, types, plans, attempts - we are safe here and maybe get something helpful from anothers journey or thoughts, types, plans, attempts............


Do Share


GinaWonder
GinaWonder
For a few minutes today - out of nowhere - I got the thought, awareness, idea, that I could kill myself in a 5 minutes bad decision.

I was Wowed and then I thought, I don't have a plan so no worries, then the next thought was Pills of course you have 100's..... I was surprised by this rogue thought and the certainty I COULD.

I've had years of negative thoughts "I can do this anymore" "I don't want to live like this" with no urge or plan, just deep depression. This clear thought out of nowhere just seems scary.....

There is no one I want to talk too, can't trust anyone not to get worried or say the wrong thing to me - best to say nothing - I thought of calling a hotline, but why? I'm not going to do it, just KNOW I could.... weird timing.

I am depressed, not cleaning up after myself... a dog shit on the rug and I contemplated whether I wanted to clean it up! WTF!!!! Where is the get the soap and water and just do it now, with no contemplating LOL I might laugh a lot, but it really isn't fun being mentally ill with a brain that works against me...

My story, sticking to it
irishwriter
irishwriter
oh Gina you always appear at the right time. see mypost 'Heart sink". I picked up my dog on tuesday and she is BIG. an alsation x american pitbull. she is beautiful though The problem is that she just came into heat ( I had an appointment to get her spayed on Friday!). It is apparently her first heat, i did not know this she is one yr old. very intelligent, in the two days she has already learned to sit, heel, roll over and lie down. we have bonded very well. I am about to put her in the car and take her to a beach about 45mins away which is usually deserted so that she can exercise without leaving her scent to drive local dogs insane. she is too big for me to hold while meeting other dogs. I am working with her to show her that they are not a threat and I have it handled, her job is just to relax and have fun. this will take time. but I was/am not prepared for the heat issue.
I am sending you a big sackful of hugs for your current use as I have lived exactly where you are now. CBD has been helping me hugely since March. Not one bipolar suicidal thought. thoughts due to pain and sleep deprivation - yes but not as often.
I hope you get the support you need.
I have missed you terribly. welcome.
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
Big hug for you sweetie.... It's soooo good to see you lady but I'm sorry that you're in a bad place

Good for you cleaning up the dog poop....lol

Your new pooch sounds awesome Irish

I have these thoughts at times as well and they can seem so logical when we're in that place

I have to just have a 'logical' conversation with myself..... Medical mode...haha..... Just that these truly aren't logical thoughts but part of the illness ….

They're a symptom and that if they become too strong and for me I use making a plan or if they go on too long I need to see my doc

I hope that if you need some help Gina you'll reach out.... I'm so glad that you're here.....xo
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • Community LeaderSunCloudJD

    Hello Monday

    Posted by: SunCloudJD
    Last Reply: SunCloudJD
    4
    Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
  • Sunshinegirl0228

    Dr. Appointment

    Posted by: Sunshinegirl0228
    Last Reply: Sunshinegirl0228
    3
    Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.