Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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ivybelle 08/03/2010

So I start my masters this fall and I am freaking out about it. School has always been a trigger for me due to a particular teacher, but I am paralyzed by fear. I have started a couple of other graduate programs, one while I was manic (and decided not to do once I crashed) and another that I had to withdraw from because I had a major episode. I finally feel like I've found the right one, and part of me is really excited about it, but most of me knows that this is my last shot. I won't have any more loans to borrow if I blow this one, and my undergraduate degree is not going to lead to a job.

This is literally my last chance to work on a getting a job and starting a career and getting out of my parent's house. If this doesn't work, I don't think I will make it. My pdoc says that there are always options and that I need to recognize them so I don't feel so trapped, but I can't see past how I feel in order to look for them.

I'm so scared I'm going to blow this, and I'm scared that I will make it a self fulfilling prophesy so I don't have to worry about it any more. I don't know if that makes any sense, but there it is.

I have been sleeping for days, not eating, and pretty much been dysfunctional for a while now. My pdoc upped my meds hoping that would help me cope, but I feel like I'm in a depression I can't get out of.

I know you guys don't have all the answers, and I know I ranted for a while, I guess I'm just looking for reassurance that it's going to be okay and ideas for focusing on something other than failure. Thanks!

ShivIT 08/03/2010

I have found that I always worry myself sick and then everything turns out ok. There is always stress. You just need to try and keep your distance from what triggers it, if you can.

deleted_user 08/03/2010

Going for my Masters was a stuggle for me but I just focused on one day at a time. You cant focus on the failure you have to look at the positive. Its allways easier to look for failure but you have so much going for you. You have a plan. See yourself fullfilling this plan. You have so many options open to you. Just take one step at a time. One day at a time and you will get your Masters. Best Wishes.

deleted_user 08/03/2010

Try to keep yourself from getting so stressed so you don't spiral any further. Stay in touch with your pdoc and don't forget your meds. Take the class one day at a time. Don't set big goals set small ones and when you reach one goal set another until you get to where you want to be. Looking at the big picture can be devestating.

jimlucky1 08/03/2010

Dont focus on the outcome focus on the goal.Dont be afraid to fail it only means you tried.Focus on moving forward one step at a time.

deleted_user 08/03/2010

rant away, hon xx

deleted_user 08/03/2010

i will keep u in my prayers that this time it will work out for u.

ivybelle 08/03/2010

Thanks for the encouragement. I've just been in a really low place for the past few weeks. It means so much. Thank you.

deleted_user 08/03/2010

I am working on my Master's too. Part time, forever. I know I am supposed to be doing it, but each exam, I put myself under so much pressure and get stressed, it spoils the learning part.

Someone told me they think I am a perfectionist, and that probably does sum up why it is so important. I don't know if it helps, but focus on the present, do all that you can do to prepare, submit, and then don't worry about the results. I know that is easier said than done.

I will also pray for you. If this is the right program, go for it. I looked at Master's programs forever, and none was the right fit. This time it is, and I know I have made the right choice. Let us know what happens. Christa is working on her Doctor's and is also stressing, maybe we can form a "Beepers going back to school" group and not post because we are busy stressing out about assignments, seminars and/or exams. LOL

deleted_user 08/03/2010

If only we had a cure for being obsessive! I'm sure you'll be fine this time, you already know how to do it. Good luck and keep us up on how it goes!

deleted_user 08/03/2010

Your not alone...I am starting school again this semester...I know it's the right choice for me, but damn, it's scary and overwhelming and exciting all in one. Take it one day at a time...You'll be fine!

Triball 08/04/2010

I agree with Hopie take your focus off the entire program. Take it one class and one assignment at a time. Before you know it you will be there. This worked for me and I wish the same for you. Let us know how things are going.

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