Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
jessicaclevinger
Hi everyone. My name is Jessica. I haven't really ever joined an online support group before, so I thought I should introduce myself.
I'm 26 and I have been diagnosed with OCD for 7 years, but I have had ocd my entire life. Within the last year, I have had an onset of new symptoms which I think, at the very least, are on the bipolar spectrum. My doc will not label what is happening. I have experienced depression, anxiety for years, but late summer/ early fall of last year, my depression reached a devastating, nearly disabling (as well as few probable hypomanic episodes) to the point that I had to leave work for a time to get started on meds- but meds on a sub-clinical level: 50-75mg lamictal, propranolol prn for anxiety, and 100mg Zoloft which I have been on for years. Depakote and a few other meds seemed too strong and very sedative at that time.
Last month up thru last week, I felt great, easy to talk to people, productive at work, cleaning my house at 2:30 am. Then, last week - bam, sucker-punched by deep depression, crying spells for 2 days and the third day I woke up, couldnt work the blender to make breakfast, broke a cup in anger, drove to work yelling, laughing, etc and didn't really remember how I actually got to work. I have a supportive boss with bipolar in her family and she calmed me and talked to me.
Time seems to be "messed up" sometimes, like I can't keep track of it and that happened that morning. She said I should call my doc but I couldn't focus to find the number in my phone or phone book so she had to help. Bouncing my feet, shaking all over and then crash a burn into exhaustive depression later that afternoon. I had to call my husband because I knew I couldn't drive. He took me to the doc and she put me on 150mg sequel and upped lamictal to 200mg plus I'm still on Zoloft. She suggested voluntary hospital stay, but I didn't feel like being away from home for 72 hrs. would help. At least not at the point I was at, like on the edge of psychosis maybe.
This is the same time last year which the symptoms originally onset, so I believe that the fall season is a trigger for me. I've never liked this time of year and maybe even before my body hasn't adjusted well to the time and seasonal changes.
Anyway, I am largely unfamiliar with bipolar disorder and this is all new and scary to me. I have worked only 5 hrs. in 2 weeks and won't go back until next week, if I am even able to then. Going out today for my follow up appt. Was nearly overwhelming for my senses... I just am not processing sensory info well and I think the seroquel is partially responsible.
I guess I'm looking for validation. I know rationally that lots of folks deal with bipolar everyday, but I kind of feel alone, even though I have a great support system of friends and family. Plus, not having the doc put a "label"
on this doesn't help. It's like I could own this and face it better if someone could just say, yes you are bp II or cyclothymic or whatever, although I am not asking you all to diagnose me :)
I look forwarding to meeting you all and thanks for reading the book I just wrote lol :)
I'm 26 and I have been diagnosed with OCD for 7 years, but I have had ocd my entire life. Within the last year, I have had an onset of new symptoms which I think, at the very least, are on the bipolar spectrum. My doc will not label what is happening. I have experienced depression, anxiety for years, but late summer/ early fall of last year, my depression reached a devastating, nearly disabling (as well as few probable hypomanic episodes) to the point that I had to leave work for a time to get started on meds- but meds on a sub-clinical level: 50-75mg lamictal, propranolol prn for anxiety, and 100mg Zoloft which I have been on for years. Depakote and a few other meds seemed too strong and very sedative at that time.
Last month up thru last week, I felt great, easy to talk to people, productive at work, cleaning my house at 2:30 am. Then, last week - bam, sucker-punched by deep depression, crying spells for 2 days and the third day I woke up, couldnt work the blender to make breakfast, broke a cup in anger, drove to work yelling, laughing, etc and didn't really remember how I actually got to work. I have a supportive boss with bipolar in her family and she calmed me and talked to me.
Time seems to be "messed up" sometimes, like I can't keep track of it and that happened that morning. She said I should call my doc but I couldn't focus to find the number in my phone or phone book so she had to help. Bouncing my feet, shaking all over and then crash a burn into exhaustive depression later that afternoon. I had to call my husband because I knew I couldn't drive. He took me to the doc and she put me on 150mg sequel and upped lamictal to 200mg plus I'm still on Zoloft. She suggested voluntary hospital stay, but I didn't feel like being away from home for 72 hrs. would help. At least not at the point I was at, like on the edge of psychosis maybe.
This is the same time last year which the symptoms originally onset, so I believe that the fall season is a trigger for me. I've never liked this time of year and maybe even before my body hasn't adjusted well to the time and seasonal changes.
Anyway, I am largely unfamiliar with bipolar disorder and this is all new and scary to me. I have worked only 5 hrs. in 2 weeks and won't go back until next week, if I am even able to then. Going out today for my follow up appt. Was nearly overwhelming for my senses... I just am not processing sensory info well and I think the seroquel is partially responsible.
I guess I'm looking for validation. I know rationally that lots of folks deal with bipolar everyday, but I kind of feel alone, even though I have a great support system of friends and family. Plus, not having the doc put a "label"
on this doesn't help. It's like I could own this and face it better if someone could just say, yes you are bp II or cyclothymic or whatever, although I am not asking you all to diagnose me :)
I look forwarding to meeting you all and thanks for reading the book I just wrote lol :)
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Learn as much as you can about bipolar.
The Mayo Clinic Site on bipolar is a good place to start. Lots of info there
As you say you don't expect us to diagnose you - I would challenge your doctor to give a diagnosis or a time line for when they will. Or expalin why they won't. You are on a number of meds which will help bipolar (or depression and some other disorders) so you are getting probably the right treatment but I think like most of us you'd like a firmer diagnosis.
I would let you doc know as well that you would like to know what your diagnosis is ... She may not even be firm at this point.... The trials of meds can also cause some of the symptoms if they aren't the right ones... Try and be patient the best you can... There is stability to be found .. It may just take a little time... Big hug...x