Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
We are probably amoung the most caring people on the earth. Why then is guilt always a thought and feeling just an ongoing threat to undermine our wisdom?
Things I'm trying to forgive myself for:
1. Making impulsive purchases (4 pairs of shoes- a clearance sale); I also bought 5 tops which are going back.
2. Being too harsh on my BF; his 90 yr old step-father broke his hip and I spent the day with his delightful mom yesterday. I plan on going there several times over the next few days; canceling plans to go to the shore. He is going to CA for a couple of days to go to a "Parent's day" at a Screen Writer's Camp that his 15yr old daughter attended for 3 weeks at a cost of 6K. I have a difficult time with the affluence his kids grow up with as I was neglected as a child. I enjoy his generosity, but I'm an adult I never settled for anyone who couldn't be a partner in moving forward. It's taken over 20 yrs to find both Affluence & unconditional love. (I divorced in 1987). We are true partners and help each other. I've been a powerful catalyst in his life and coached him from a life of emotional despair. We met 6yrs ago. Anyway, back to the issue. I cancelled my plans and criticized him for not cancelling his which I think was warranted since it's his family. I do really love them though. Since he's bought his airfare I suggested that he go to what I think is ridiculous and that's where I'm struggling. I went back & forth with whether I was going to cancel my plans and confused the heck out of him. I don't want his mother to be alone, but I was looking forward to my visit with a good friend. Thought about rescheduling. but it may not be possible. I'm going to have to be mindful of balancing my needs and hers while accepting the changes. I am not going to overextend myself by visiting at the hospital. And that's just too bad if he wants me to do that as well.
Are these so bad? NO!!! But yet it takes a lot of energy to keep them from "getting to me" and for guilt to grab hold. As a matter of fact there is absolutely no reason to even have ANY guilt. I'm working on impulsive purchases and I regressed a bit. SO WHAT!!! And, I have every right to feel somewhat resentful of the change in plans!
While extreme sensitivity can be helpful in knowing things on a deep level it does have an enormous burden that is a constant challenge.
Things I'm trying to forgive myself for:
1. Making impulsive purchases (4 pairs of shoes- a clearance sale); I also bought 5 tops which are going back.
2. Being too harsh on my BF; his 90 yr old step-father broke his hip and I spent the day with his delightful mom yesterday. I plan on going there several times over the next few days; canceling plans to go to the shore. He is going to CA for a couple of days to go to a "Parent's day" at a Screen Writer's Camp that his 15yr old daughter attended for 3 weeks at a cost of 6K. I have a difficult time with the affluence his kids grow up with as I was neglected as a child. I enjoy his generosity, but I'm an adult I never settled for anyone who couldn't be a partner in moving forward. It's taken over 20 yrs to find both Affluence & unconditional love. (I divorced in 1987). We are true partners and help each other. I've been a powerful catalyst in his life and coached him from a life of emotional despair. We met 6yrs ago. Anyway, back to the issue. I cancelled my plans and criticized him for not cancelling his which I think was warranted since it's his family. I do really love them though. Since he's bought his airfare I suggested that he go to what I think is ridiculous and that's where I'm struggling. I went back & forth with whether I was going to cancel my plans and confused the heck out of him. I don't want his mother to be alone, but I was looking forward to my visit with a good friend. Thought about rescheduling. but it may not be possible. I'm going to have to be mindful of balancing my needs and hers while accepting the changes. I am not going to overextend myself by visiting at the hospital. And that's just too bad if he wants me to do that as well.
Are these so bad? NO!!! But yet it takes a lot of energy to keep them from "getting to me" and for guilt to grab hold. As a matter of fact there is absolutely no reason to even have ANY guilt. I'm working on impulsive purchases and I regressed a bit. SO WHAT!!! And, I have every right to feel somewhat resentful of the change in plans!
While extreme sensitivity can be helpful in knowing things on a deep level it does have an enormous burden that is a constant challenge.
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
I don't think you have anything to be guilty about. Resentful maybe, if you had to change your plans and he didn't.
If you are already obligated this time, you should follow through. But, I would make it clear in the future that he should handle his own business.
Sorry, I may be projecting some. I just couldn't deal with my in-laws and never really felt bad over it.
Hope this thing resolves for you all in the best way possible.
At the same time I felt the same resentment you're talking about at times... I think what I've learned the hard way is that I can't control other peoples' decisions
Nor do I have any right to...It caused resentment for all involved and no one gained anything
Now I try and be more aware of my expectations of others and 'their' decisions for themselves and it's helped me a lot...I can choose to do what I want to do as can they and it eliminates a lot of resentment
I suffer from guilt for being depressed and sometimes not being able to participate in activities with family and friends.I know there is nothing I can do about the guilt that causes.
I totally understand about overextending. i used to be a pro at it! But since this last depression I haven't made any obligations with others. I'm glad you have a good man. You deserve one especially after 20 yrs.!!
We tend to overextend a Lot, don't we? And yes, it's Guilt. But sometimes it takes away from the Sincerity of what we do - or certainly from our Best when we do things....there's this elusive Balance thing, where we are not doing for Everyone Else and not ourselves, but we are not just Doing Whatever and Not thinking about anyone else, either!!
And once in a blue moon we get it Right, lol.
I really hope you will be able to exercise your throat chakra and Explain your own needs to him, so you won't feel locked by guilt into spending All your time with his mother; but also that you will find balance in your Heart chakra, and not be frustrated or resentful by not allowing your Own needs to be met.
((((HUGS))))