Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I will try to keep this as short as I can as not to bore anyone. Im confused what if im causing myself to be bipolar. I wonder if I truely need to take my meds. Maybe the way I am is the same as everyone else but I just cant deal as well. I wonder if Im not even forceing myself to be manic at times oe maybe I cause my mind to race. Maybe when my mind is racing it just makes me think i am bipolar. What if Im making it all up because I want attention.maybe Im just a weak minded person who cant help it. hen I hear myself in my head maybe everyone does maybe when I tell myself that bad things are going to happeni wonder if im not just dramatic. Does anyone else ever think that this all isnt real and that Im just controling it and I choose to be this way. I am driving myself crazy with these questions today. I keep telling myself that since im questioning things and not just unaware of how im feeling that I must not have a true problem. I keep having these stupid thoughts so why cant I stop them. am I making any sence to anyone because Im confusing the hell out of myself. I feel like just screaming or cring Im hoping that typing this out will help me to calm down or to figure it all out.
Ask yourself to remember the things you've done in manias. Or if you are not sure if you've had manias then think back to see if there were times you did things really out of character. Promiscuity, spending sprees, overly aggressive to the point of alienating family/friends. Not sleeping for days.
So you have down times that meet the standards of depressions? Sleeping way more or less than normal? Losing interest in pleasurable things. No motivation to get out of bed or be around people.
I think the best thing to do is to get on a website that lists the symptoms of bipolar and see if they fit you. Part of having bipolar, or any mental illness, is sometimes questioning if you have it, I think. Since you can't see mental illness or test for it w/ x-rays or blood tests, etc.
An important point is to NOT go off your meds unless you talk to your pdoc.
Living with bipolar can be very confusing for several reasons. I often wonder if my undesirable behavior is the result of brain chemistry gone awry or my own weakness, stupidity, carelessness, or thoughtlessness. I will never know 100%
I also wonder if I would want to be cured if it was possible. I wonder what would happen if I had to go off SS Disability and start working again. Or if I lost Medicare. This scares me to think about!
When you start to wonder, review the symptoms of bipolar and see if you meet the criteria. If not, see your pdoc and/or therapist to discuss this before going off meds.
Hope this helps!
lol or maybe your just obsessive... if your mind is going as fast as your questions of self inflicted mental disorders :) you got your answer in the question...
hugs...Leslie