Have you considered setting her up with a counselor?

Good morning btw.

That's a rough age to deal with. Sometimes you just have to make sure there's a safety net in place then step back and see what happens. If it's necessary, provide alternative living conditions. For you or her!

Hanna, I can relate to what you're going through! I tried to raise my children with respect and integrity. That went to hell in a handbasket in a hurry!!!!! Now I see my grandchildren (aged 5 to 15) treating people as though they are dirt, spoiled rotten by thier parents and they have NO integrity---communication has been replaced by sassy mouths, fists (on occasion) and general disregard for humanity.

I don't seriously think it is a family problem as much as a societal influence situation. You might try having someone else talk to her asw you sit in on the conversation. Make sure you take care of yourself, too. If you are stressing, you suffer the worst.

Good luck, Hanna. Things seem to get better eventually.

Hana, if she is living with you, she obviously has some issues in her life. Maybe she feels she has no alternatives in life herself and she struggles with that. I hate to break it to you, but after raising four boys, 17 is not a great age for anyone involved. It is a transitional age at which they believe they should be making adult decisions for themselves and anyone else is interfering with their life.

The best I can suggest is that you sit down and calmly discuss what you observe with her behavior and ask if she can work to change it. Something very important that I have learned is that, my surroundings are not responsible for my reactions. I am responsible for myself and how I react. I choose how to process what is happening around me. Telling her that SHE is the cause of your episodes will only make things worse, trust me.

Work with your therapist to find coping skills in dealing with her. You can also require her to follow certain mandatory rules and common courtesy rules in order to live under your roof. At the age of 18, if she breaks the rules, she is choosing to leave your home. It works but you have to be consistent in giving her consequences...

best of luck to you with her....xo

Thanks everyone. She has started counseling. But I highly doubt that she's going to give therapy her all. She's got such an attitude with everyone. I don't think she even sees what the problem is.

She snaps constantly at my BP son b/c of his behavior. But she doesn't understand BP and doesn't even try to. I need to make a list. Self-centered, spoiled rotten brats.