Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I'm very tired so this will be short.
The haze spell is over thank christ, still I'm not myself these days. I feel as much of a useless sack o' shit as usual, that I'm of no help to anyone.
At least I'm able to get things done now, but I can't think critically for shit. I see my friends making phenomenal strides in their advancements in thinking, writing at length, and beautifully, and I have no creative mind at all. It's like my personality's been bleached.
It's not really irritatingly noticeable, just feels like a regressed state. I can't even tell if this is a low point or a high point for me, but I feel like I'm letting my friends down. I'm no good as a conversational partner at all. I used to be a leader, now I'm more just a drifter and even though my friends won't leave my side, it's a lonely place to be, feeling dissimilar to those who know me perhaps the best.
I feel like there's a hole where a significant part of me once was. I'm not really looking for a solution, by the way, I'm just ranting. I plan on ditching the Lamictal eventually but sticking with it for now is the smartest card I can play.
The haze spell is over thank christ, still I'm not myself these days. I feel as much of a useless sack o' shit as usual, that I'm of no help to anyone.
At least I'm able to get things done now, but I can't think critically for shit. I see my friends making phenomenal strides in their advancements in thinking, writing at length, and beautifully, and I have no creative mind at all. It's like my personality's been bleached.
It's not really irritatingly noticeable, just feels like a regressed state. I can't even tell if this is a low point or a high point for me, but I feel like I'm letting my friends down. I'm no good as a conversational partner at all. I used to be a leader, now I'm more just a drifter and even though my friends won't leave my side, it's a lonely place to be, feeling dissimilar to those who know me perhaps the best.
I feel like there's a hole where a significant part of me once was. I'm not really looking for a solution, by the way, I'm just ranting. I plan on ditching the Lamictal eventually but sticking with it for now is the smartest card I can play.
Unlike, me with dashes, and dots, typo central.....
I feel your words, and of course would like to soothe, and possible fix her? LOL Ok, I'm working on that too!
Wishing you peace and comfort sweetie...
Try doing some small writing assignments that you feel comfortable with at textbroker.com and earn a little and build your self confidence .
I have written a couple of small things which shocked me because me English and grammar , spelling teachers passed me just get ride of me . The money I made was a joke but the self confidence bump was great.
Take little steps like you are doing now , you are just at the tuning stage with your meds . I wish I had your vocabulary girl !
When words are your trade, (too) many BP meds can flush your self-confidence down the toilet.
When I'm really feeling dull in the head I know it's time to get a big canvass out and throw paint around just to express myself in less specific terms.
Have anything like that handy to you...?
Really feel you.
Slow course with the meds has also been my choice over the years.
Finally found a regimen that doesn't put every one of my brain cells to sleep, but it took many years.
Much love and luck,
Xx.
*canvas*
See? LOL.
Xx.
Hang in there.
Beep- I have art supplies and mostly draw, but drawing IMO takes more brain fuel than writing does, >__< Haha.
I guess being a wordsmith's sort of my signature, my trademark y'know? It's damaging to my identity to be without it. The one profession where the tools of the trade are free heh.