So I've been reading but haven't had much to say the past few weeks since my diagnosis of bipolar II. I have been going to talk therapy every week and that helps. I am now only on lithiium and seroquel and the occasional clonzapam...I have weened of the effexor and I'm not sure if that is why I had a meltdown today. Early in the morning I kept getting these vibes like I was going to get anxious but never did. Then on the way to work a random song came on the radio and I lost it because I was thinking of my dad. I made it thru Thanksgiving but I hear certain songs and they strike me a certain way and it's all over. My supervisor let me work in the stockroom until I could keep it together and get rid of the crying face. I also had taken a clonzapam the moment I started crying. So I survived work well but then when I got home I was on facebook and saw a picture of a dog that looked like my Bailey that I had to give away in the divorce a few years ago. So more tears. My boyfriend comes in and talks to me for a few minutes but I wanted to share more of what was going on but he fell asleep instead. I was hurt by this but he just kept saying it was the first time he has worked an entire day and was tired. I feel so alone. I wanted to tell him those earlier feelings but also how I am still fighting the urges to steal from work. Last week I sent my best friend a message that I really wanted to talk to her but all she did was send a message back two days later asking what was up. I can't text what was going on because it involved another guy on facebook and the discussions we were having. I feel so alone. I don't know how long this sadness is going to last. I just want some security in friends and knowing they are truly there. This all also makes me angry because I had been doing well. Why this now? Is this how my life will be....a roller coaster of emotions?