Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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Alliegator 03/30/2011

I am having 3 mood swings a day. My head is either full of thoughts about hating myself or an over abundance of crazy energy. I feel like I am going insane. I don't know what to do. I was drinking to make myself calm down, but I don't want to get addicted. I was cutting, but my roommate took all of the scissors and I thought about taking lots of sleeping pills so my mind would shut the f up for 2 seconds, but I knew that was a bad plan. The only thing that helps is talking to people. It keeps me distracted enough that I can't hear my own thoughts. I cannot live with the "voices" in my head any more. I can't get to the psych to get my meds adjusted until 2 weeks from now. I CANNOT be like this for 2 more weeks. I want to smack my head on the floor over and over until It is quiet in there. I am at a complete loss for what to do.

deleted_user 03/30/2011

I'm really sorry your having a bad day. what's worrying me the most is the cutting it is very unBP like. My first thought is to go to the Pdoc if you havent seen him/her and explain it to them and the rest.
Beaware the scars from cutting are permanent is and most excutters spend there life trying to hide the scars. hang in there you can get through this.

deleted_user 03/30/2011

Try to engage in calming activities like going for a walk, taking a bath, cuddling with a pet, talking with a friend, etc.

Also, try to surround yourself with others like family and good friends who can support you at this time.

Keep pushing to bump up this appointment if you can; if you have to, call the docs office several times a day. I have done this on many occassions. You have to advocate for yourself.

MageMichael 03/30/2011

I'm sorry you are having such a rough time of it. I'm just dealing with some depression here and it is rattling me. I can't imagine dealing with what you are going through. Yes don't cut. I have lots of scars that I try to hide because of this. I wish I could get the scars removed but they are there as a glaring reminder of cutting and a suicide attempt. Keep talking to us here on DS, we are here to listen. Do you have any klonopin or xanax you can take? This will help calm you down.
I agree with plathlover1 as well, try some calming activities. Taking a bath usually is very theraputic for me when my mind is a flutter.

Alliegator 03/30/2011

Yeah I know about the scars. I used to cut a few years ago and was able to stop for the most part. This is the worst it has ever been though.

Luckily my friend came over for a bit and cheered me up/calmed me down. MageMichael - I wish I had some antianxiety meds like that, but for some reason I have never been prescribed them. I'm going to go take my sleeping pill and go to bed so at least I can get a small break from it.

deleted_user 03/30/2011

Hey Allie, hope you get through this ok. I never cut myself but I understand the urge.

You are so young and being young is hard. Go easy on yourself and take deep breaths.

MageMichael 03/30/2011

I hope you get some rest from the sleeping pill. I would ask your pdoc for some klonopin or xanax. These are nice meds to calm you down. I prefer Klonopin because it lasts longer and is a stronger med.

deleted_user 03/30/2011

I feel ya. I get the same way. It takes all I've got to hold on for the ride. The thoughts come at me like an assault. The energy is up and down. *hugs*

Does your doctor's office have a nurse on call. Sometimes I have to call for an adjustment between appointments. Do you have any Klonopin or something else for anxiety?

I know it's not good to rely on sleeping meds.. but, after a day of craziness I really look forward to my Ambien to make it stop. My brain and body need a break.

freeheeler 03/31/2011

Hey Allie, please don't hurt yourself. I recommend exercise and hanging around other people as ways to try to feel better. See a doc, it sounds like things re really tough.

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