i have been really struggling with depression. I missed my last pdoc appointment a few weeks a out a month ago because I was sick. I was supposed to go today but my car started making a bad sound last night and I had no idea what was wrong with it. It is a 50 mile round trip. I was going to have a family member (not my useless parents) take me. My pdoc called me after I left a cancellation call. She said that I can see her on the 15th at her location near where I live. I told her how bad I've been feeling. So I have to wait some more. It doesn't matter because I tho k I'm beyond help anyway. My temp job is getting REALLLLLY stressful. The manager is new and is an idiot, knows nothing. And instead of admitting it, he took turns talking to all of us like we were stupid. Friday wAs awful. I had an interview on Thursday am for a permanent job. I know I didn't get the job (and there are TWO positions). The guy looked me up and down more than a few times and I could tell he was unimpressed (I am a lard a****). I am so sick of being alive. I wish God would take me.