I'm very sorry to hear this....that's horrific. How terrifying that must have been for your friend.

She's lucky to have such a caring friend as yourself, and it sounds like you will do anything to get her through this.

((((hugs)))))

SO sorry about your friend, that it just so wrong & just sick.

Wish i had sum great words of wisdom, but i just dont....sigh

Like you said all you can do is be there for her.

HUGS

Maybe others could correct me if I'm wrong but you and those closest to you seem to have an inordinate concentration of victimization. Perhaps it's regional as I don't know where you're from.

As much as I detest such inexcusable acts...far far too much of it happening for sure and the wreckage involves so many more than just the victims, the suffering spreads to all who are empathetic to the personal struggle of having to deal with such violation of the self.

I would caution you to not give up your faith in humanity as just yet. At least until you find a suitable replacement. We all need faith in something. I still have long term faith in the human spirit which is anchored in the spirit of love...everyone wants to be loved...very few actually love to be hated.

I have immediate and omnipotent faith in fate. What will be will be, whether we choose to act or choose not to act in guiding fate. Stuff will keep happening...the good, the bad and yes the ugly. Hopefully more good will begin to happen for future generations...possessed with a more mature collective human psyche.

~peace in~

I think you chose to do the right thing to be there for the woman you love. I wish there were more men who were as caring, supportive. I don't know about other people. You are certainly good. This isn't the LORD's fault. Everyone comes with free will. It was that f. creeps choice to do what he did to your woman.

Thank you for your responses. I guess I needed to vent. Surprisingly enough, I'm the "calm" one in these situations, at least on the outside. Everyone is beyond angry and scared that she might harm herself, so I've been been offering advice and comforting words, reminding them that we're all doing the best that we can and that my friend is stronger than we think.

I mean every word, but I'm shaking on the inside. I'm scared and furious. My heart is hammering in my chest all of the time. I feel like I'm ready to shatter. What's worse is that I know that what I'm feeling is absolutely nothing compared to my friend and I really can't do anything to help.

to Fdlstx : I understand your words, but I urge you to look into rape and how often it occurs. Me and mine do not have an "inordinate concentration of victimization". I simply recognize rape where some others may not. Rape in my mind is when someone is not given the chance to say no, not just when someone is violently attacked. Whether a stranger jumps you, a partner "just keeps going" even after objections are made, or someone drinks too much and can not clearly make an informed decision to protect himself/herself and is "taken advantage of", it's all the same. Rape happens everywhere and it happens often. I have studied rape, for many years and from every corner of the world. I've done so not only to stay informed, but also to be able to counsel and maybe comfort those I encounter who have been abused.

I'm not angry or upset by your comment, I once thought the same way. Again, I simply urge you to look into it.

I think its important to support, love, help etc...

Researching and looking for abuse, rape, addictions - well, its everywhere, I prefer to help my friends, work at shelters, and not Look into it....

Sorry for your friend, you're both in my prayers!!!

Let me rephrase gina (I realize I sounded strange and morbid, sorry just got off the phone with my sister and was upset). I don't hound the news and internet looking up rape cases. I stay informed about laws and statistics because many, too many, people have come to me with questions and seeking advice. When I said "look into it" I only meant that it's a good idea to know how much of a problem there is. Knowledge on the subject can help keep people safe and maybe help heal those who have already been hurt...

Didn't mean to sound snobby or mean, sorry. Just a wreck at the moment...

As a rape victim twice and being molested as a very young child I can't tell you how important it is for your friend to seek professional help asap. I didn't get help for many years because of a sense of shame and a feeling that I had done something to deserve it.

When I first started seeing a pdoc this is one of the areas we worked hardest on, it was hard to talk about but also such a relief to be able to talk to someone without fear of judgement.

I was only 14 at the time of my first rape and 17 at my second, I attempted suicide after each one because I was unable to mentally deal with the violence and violation that I had been through.

It might be a good idea for her to talk to someone at a rape crisis center to someone who has been where she is, I didn't know about these places because I was so young and it festered inside of me effecting so many aspects of my life. Be there for here, listen to her but don't push to hard to try to fix it as she needs to go at whatever pace she can handle.

I truly understand and my heart goes out to her.

Hugs

I am sorry for your friend. I hope she is connected to getting help so she doesn't develop PTSD. I think to feel as you do is protective as right now as the world around you is threatening and it will lessen over time.

I don't have faith in much of anything but I remain open to it. If my dreams came true I would want to open my heart to goodness.

Do you have someone to talk to as you go through helping her.

I didn't mean to be - so corrective! LOL ((((BIG HUG))) sorry : )

I've been raped, ran groups, house mother at women shelters - it's the oldest crime, and thank God - it' is NOW a crime!