Bipolar Disorder - Teen Support Group
This community is dedicated to teenagers struggling with bipolar disorder. Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. Talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, and learn from others' experiences
I've yet to be properly diagnosed or placed on any medications, but my therapist / life coach is convinced that I'm bipolar. That woman is a genius, and I swear she has a sixth sense... She's never wrong. But, even if she was just any other counselor, I'd agree completely with her. There are a handful on my dad's side of the family with BD, including my older brother, who was diagnosed when he was my age.
But, I suppose I don't need to try so hard to convince anyone. I guess I'm just tired of being lumped in with the portion of teenagers who are convinced that they're bipolar just because they're moody, like any other adolescent. I'm aware of the differences between standard teenage emotions and a mental disorder. Just because I've yet to be legally diagnosed doesn't mean it's not true... I'm in the process of switching psychiatrists, right now, and it seems almost impossible to get an appointment.
But, anyway... I could use some help. I'm in a really unstable place with my girlfriend, right now. I love her to death, we've known each other for four years and have been dating for the past eight months. But a lot has been going on, recently. After school ended, she moved a few cities away, and it's nearly impossible to see her, now. What's more is that her mother -- a vile, monstrous woman, if I do say so myself -- hates me. She says that I'm always sad and rude and she's fed up with me. So, I can pretty much say goodbye to any and all physical contact with my girlfriend for a long time.
We've been talking online daily for awhile, now, but we've been getting into a lot of fights, recently. Well, not so much of fights... It's more that I do or say something to piss her off because I keep trying to fix things that aren't broken, and she can't handle it anymore. She can't handle me, anymore... I can't stomach that I'm hurting her. I just hate that she gets so upset, because everything is about extremes, with me. I blow everything out of proportion, and I make huge deals out of the slightest of things, and I just lose it. I break down, I can't take any of it. And I know it wouldn't be this bad if not for our situation, if not for how miserable I am without her. It just feels like, whenever I freak out over something and she gets angry instead of trying to console me, I feel convinced that she just doesn't care and she doesn't want to support me, anymore. I take it all to the extreme. And when I try to tell her that I just need her to understand and be patient with me, she blames me for trying to make her fix something that's my fault.
It sounds pretty bad, I know, but I can't blame her... She's got crazy emotional and relationship issues and abandonment problems and a screwed-up way of coping with things... We're so unhealthy together, it's ridiculous, but I can't see myself spending the rest of my life with any other person.
I just can't lose her, over this, and I can't say when I'll be getting medication. I don't even know when I can see my new psychiatrist.
I just need something, anything to tide me over for the next few weeks. It feels like my brain is corroding, and I can't handle the slightest bit of bad news, anymore. Even if I get the smallest sensation that something's wrong, I lose it. I take it all out on her. I just don't want to hurt her, anymore.
But, I suppose I don't need to try so hard to convince anyone. I guess I'm just tired of being lumped in with the portion of teenagers who are convinced that they're bipolar just because they're moody, like any other adolescent. I'm aware of the differences between standard teenage emotions and a mental disorder. Just because I've yet to be legally diagnosed doesn't mean it's not true... I'm in the process of switching psychiatrists, right now, and it seems almost impossible to get an appointment.
But, anyway... I could use some help. I'm in a really unstable place with my girlfriend, right now. I love her to death, we've known each other for four years and have been dating for the past eight months. But a lot has been going on, recently. After school ended, she moved a few cities away, and it's nearly impossible to see her, now. What's more is that her mother -- a vile, monstrous woman, if I do say so myself -- hates me. She says that I'm always sad and rude and she's fed up with me. So, I can pretty much say goodbye to any and all physical contact with my girlfriend for a long time.
We've been talking online daily for awhile, now, but we've been getting into a lot of fights, recently. Well, not so much of fights... It's more that I do or say something to piss her off because I keep trying to fix things that aren't broken, and she can't handle it anymore. She can't handle me, anymore... I can't stomach that I'm hurting her. I just hate that she gets so upset, because everything is about extremes, with me. I blow everything out of proportion, and I make huge deals out of the slightest of things, and I just lose it. I break down, I can't take any of it. And I know it wouldn't be this bad if not for our situation, if not for how miserable I am without her. It just feels like, whenever I freak out over something and she gets angry instead of trying to console me, I feel convinced that she just doesn't care and she doesn't want to support me, anymore. I take it all to the extreme. And when I try to tell her that I just need her to understand and be patient with me, she blames me for trying to make her fix something that's my fault.
It sounds pretty bad, I know, but I can't blame her... She's got crazy emotional and relationship issues and abandonment problems and a screwed-up way of coping with things... We're so unhealthy together, it's ridiculous, but I can't see myself spending the rest of my life with any other person.
I just can't lose her, over this, and I can't say when I'll be getting medication. I don't even know when I can see my new psychiatrist.
I just need something, anything to tide me over for the next few weeks. It feels like my brain is corroding, and I can't handle the slightest bit of bad news, anymore. Even if I get the smallest sensation that something's wrong, I lose it. I take it all out on her. I just don't want to hurt her, anymore.
Have you tried talking to her about what it truely is?Explaining to her that you can't help it. That its like having any other sickness that it isnt your fault and it isnt her fault.
My boyfriend and I have always liked eachother and ive known him for some time but he barely asked me out like 6 months ago. I love him more than anything in the world and he knows im bipolar and knows that i cant help my mood swings. He's very understanding about them though. He's never ever yelled at me the whole time ive known him, hes never even raised his voice to me. Even though I snap and I yell and scream and cry at the drop of a hat. I make little things something they arnt and I cant help it. The way we deal with it is, we never say "I hate you" I know ive broken that rule once or twice but it just sliped when I was having a moment. We try not to take it too seriously because deep down under all the anger we still love eachother more than anything in the world and we always end our fights with I love you.
I know you probably try really hard to hold back the mood swings and I know you HATE hurting because I know I hate the hurt expression on MY boyfriends face when I have my moments. The best advice I could give you is if you start feeling a swing going on just tell her that your BD is acting up that you love her and you'll talk to her soon, that way you dont have a chance to do any damage. OR if they come before you can catch them Let her know whats going on and ask her if u can talk to her after you cool down. I know im probably now much help but its all i have. Just remember to tell her sorry when you hurt her and remind her everyday about how you feel about her. Tell her you appreciate that she puts up with your moods. The extream happy, sad, anger and the inbetweens. There is nothing stronger than true love and I know you two can make it work. Its just a rough patch.
beautifulbasketcase -- I don't think you realize just how helpful all of that was. Haha.
It's just, I'm always so excited and eager to speak to her, even if I feel direly unstable. I'm not sure why I never took it into consideration to just... not talk to her, even for a little bit. I'm not sure if she understands all of the quirks of BD, but I know her dad has it, and she has very bad experiences with that. I don't expect to get a positive reaction from her towards it anytime soon. She promises that she can understand, but she only seems to say so when we're not fighting...
It's all certainly taking its toll.
But, you're right. Thank you so much for the advice. :)