i had to write this column and I had to relate this story.I have to tell everyone my late brothers last words to me were.He said something that my late grandmother told my mother in 1965 before she died at 65...you have to learn to live without me.It was on a sunday.It was July 18th,2004.Frank called me from the nursing home.He was in very intensive pain and I asked him how he was.My late brother told me this..he wished that he could die.He told me that he was in pain and he hadnt even told Stanley.Then he told me that I have been a very good sister.He also told me that he I would outlive him.I asked him if he was saying goodbye to me and frank said well..i hate goodbyes.Goodbyes are forever.and I asked him what would happen if anything happened to him.Frank told me"Vader..I am pleading with you if anything happens..please leave brad.I just hate to see you so unhappy..he aint no prize.Brad my dear..is a full blown alcohol and you and I werent raised that way.We never had any fights and such.We were happy.Please leave him whenever you can." I told him about the cats..and Frank told me about foster care.He told me about a program where you can put your pets in foster care until you get back of your feet.Then I started to cry..because Brad and I were fighting as usual..i asked frank what would I do without him..Then Frank said these words.."Vader..you have to learn to live without me.I want you to remember the happy times.I want you to remember the parties and the music.Grandma and Grandpa.The dogs.The kids.Please remember the happy times.I want you to mourn me just for one year.One year is enough.You see.I am going to a better place and I will be watching you from above." Then my sainted brother said goodbye.Those were his last words to me.But can anyone tell me this..Just what learning to live without a person means? How do I adjust now? Frank wanted me to mourn for one year..Today I cried and I cried and cried..because Brad is just so difficult.When you are in rehab..you are different...all I can say is that these people are different.They are not my friends.I meet them at the meetings.I dont have anything in common with these people..I would rather be alone with my cats.Happy Halloween from vader and the cats.Meow!