Bereavement Support Group
Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.
It will be 4 weeks on Monday that Brad killed himself and why are so people meatheads? Some of the words that they have given me have been so unbeliveable...Here are some of the comments.
"You will find another guy." How do they know? I was with Brad for 14 years...met him when I was 48.Brad was 35.We werent kids...So where are these guys? "What was in the will?" Why is this asked...let me clarify this...Brad did not leave me a will nor did he leave me a note.He just gave me a list of bills to pay and rent money for 3 months.He told me in this note to stay in the house and not to give the cats away...Good Grief? Why would i do this? Kramers 11 and Tooeys 10 and i refuse to give them up.As for a will...who are you kiddding? We have to wait 45 days until we can sell the cars in Washington State.It can only be sold by the relative or adminstratior and that is what Brads sister will be.In fact...she asked me when she came over..."Where did he get all of his money?" And I dont know.....From January to April..Brad spent a lot of money and he wasnt working.He was on umemployment.He never told me anything and this is where the fight and abuse started.I asked him if he had the rent money and where the money came from.Thats when he hit me and he almost killed me.I was like a prisoner in this house.Even the cats were scared.And I mean scared.You see...Brad threaten to kill me and make it look like a OJ.Noone knew about this abuse.I called the police..but the law enforcement really doesnt know how to cope with domestic violence.Domestic violence is on the increase in washington because of the jobs here that have disappeared and the police have got their hands full.Thirdly....why didnt you leave him? I did..but I have got 2 cats and Brad could get real nasty when he was drunk.Kramer hid under my bid and didnt eat for days.Tooey ran under his car.She was scared.Brad grabbed me by my arm and tossed me across the bed and I screamed.Then he said..."what have I done?" He could have killed me and he almost did.He was in a drug -alcohol state and he was depressed.he was talking about his childhood and this slob of a Phoebe.He was talking about a soccer game that his sister played..but it never happened.I couldnt tell everyone the details.ANd in domestic violence..NOONE BELIEVES YOU.THEY THINK IT IS YOUR FAULT.anD IT WASNT...brad was on his way out...brad was dying.noone will experiece the horror.On 5/21/09 he sent me to bed.I was up with him and taking abuse for 4 and half days...I knew that the end was coming.I was literally sick.On May 22,2009.I awoke at 6.30 in the morning.I saw all of the blood.I knew.I followed the trail out in our back yard that he loved so much.Brad was on the ground.He was nude...he slit his wrists and I held him in my arms and I said goodbye to the only man that I have ever loved in my life.I asked Brad to forgive me and icried.Then I called The Seattle Police and the rest everyone knows..and like I said...seeing this man dead who was once so full of life..so was clean and sober for 5 years and then began this terror again...made me realize our romance was doomed from the start but we had good times and I will always love Brad and noone can take the good times away from me.Now I am crying.But please...dont be cruel..Sophie and the minister told me this"YOU ARE BETTER OFF.HE WAS A SOB...AND HES IN HELL." fIRST OF ALL...i AM GOING TO BE AT THE HOUSE until September and then I am looking for work but am I better off? No...I am lonely now because I have noone to talk to and I remember all of the times that we talked and no man will ever replace brad and i will never love or date again.
"You will find another guy." How do they know? I was with Brad for 14 years...met him when I was 48.Brad was 35.We werent kids...So where are these guys? "What was in the will?" Why is this asked...let me clarify this...Brad did not leave me a will nor did he leave me a note.He just gave me a list of bills to pay and rent money for 3 months.He told me in this note to stay in the house and not to give the cats away...Good Grief? Why would i do this? Kramers 11 and Tooeys 10 and i refuse to give them up.As for a will...who are you kiddding? We have to wait 45 days until we can sell the cars in Washington State.It can only be sold by the relative or adminstratior and that is what Brads sister will be.In fact...she asked me when she came over..."Where did he get all of his money?" And I dont know.....From January to April..Brad spent a lot of money and he wasnt working.He was on umemployment.He never told me anything and this is where the fight and abuse started.I asked him if he had the rent money and where the money came from.Thats when he hit me and he almost killed me.I was like a prisoner in this house.Even the cats were scared.And I mean scared.You see...Brad threaten to kill me and make it look like a OJ.Noone knew about this abuse.I called the police..but the law enforcement really doesnt know how to cope with domestic violence.Domestic violence is on the increase in washington because of the jobs here that have disappeared and the police have got their hands full.Thirdly....why didnt you leave him? I did..but I have got 2 cats and Brad could get real nasty when he was drunk.Kramer hid under my bid and didnt eat for days.Tooey ran under his car.She was scared.Brad grabbed me by my arm and tossed me across the bed and I screamed.Then he said..."what have I done?" He could have killed me and he almost did.He was in a drug -alcohol state and he was depressed.he was talking about his childhood and this slob of a Phoebe.He was talking about a soccer game that his sister played..but it never happened.I couldnt tell everyone the details.ANd in domestic violence..NOONE BELIEVES YOU.THEY THINK IT IS YOUR FAULT.anD IT WASNT...brad was on his way out...brad was dying.noone will experiece the horror.On 5/21/09 he sent me to bed.I was up with him and taking abuse for 4 and half days...I knew that the end was coming.I was literally sick.On May 22,2009.I awoke at 6.30 in the morning.I saw all of the blood.I knew.I followed the trail out in our back yard that he loved so much.Brad was on the ground.He was nude...he slit his wrists and I held him in my arms and I said goodbye to the only man that I have ever loved in my life.I asked Brad to forgive me and icried.Then I called The Seattle Police and the rest everyone knows..and like I said...seeing this man dead who was once so full of life..so was clean and sober for 5 years and then began this terror again...made me realize our romance was doomed from the start but we had good times and I will always love Brad and noone can take the good times away from me.Now I am crying.But please...dont be cruel..Sophie and the minister told me this"YOU ARE BETTER OFF.HE WAS A SOB...AND HES IN HELL." fIRST OF ALL...i AM GOING TO BE AT THE HOUSE until September and then I am looking for work but am I better off? No...I am lonely now because I have noone to talk to and I remember all of the times that we talked and no man will ever replace brad and i will never love or date again.
You are guilty of nothing, Vader! You only loved a man you were with for many years, you did nothing to cause his pain and suffering or decision to leave this earth. He had overwhelming pain inside and he finally snapped, and I truly think that is what happens in cases like this. God Bless you, Hon!
later chantillet... I'm sure they don't mean these things badly... but they should just shut up sometimes... live with the silence...
There is so little I can say / offer to alleviate your heartbreak, except that I (and I'm sure many here) understand the loneliness. It doesn't happen right away - and sometimes, neither do the money problems. But I will keep you in my prayers. I'm so sorry for your heartbreak.