Bereavement Support Group
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Saturday August 1st will be 5 years that my dear brother Frank died.And yet
Frank told me to live my life and to do the things that I have always wanted to do and do them with him in mind...but today i am at the computer and the
tears are streaming down my face.I miss my brother.My brother was one of the most postivie and happiest persons that I knew in my life.He always found a way to look at the bright side of things.On July 18th,2004...was a sunday.Frank called me.This was unusual for him.I asked him why he was calling me and he told me that he was sick and wanted to die.He told me that he had a good life.He saw everyone that he wanted.Frank told me...You know sis...I saw Joe DiMaggio play and I was the only kid in the class to do so.Daddy saved up all of his pennies for the tickets.Then my beloved Frank began to cry.He told me that he missed Daddy and he realized what a good
father that he was.He told me that he was sorry for being bad sometimes and he regrets it...then Frank told me again..."vader..I want to die." I told Frank not to say this.Frank told me this,,,"Vader...if anything happens to me..YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO LIVE WITHOUT ME.Y0U HAVE TO THINK OF ALL OF THE HAPPY TIMES THAT WE HAD AND KNOW THAT THESE TIMES CANT HAPPEN AGAIN..BUT VADER..PROMISE ME...THAT YOU WILL LEAVE BRAD..BRAD ISNT A NICE PERSON.HE WILL HURT YOU SIS.'" wHEN HE SAID this..I knew Frank was right.Brad had been acting so
weird again..but who knew that he was planning the suicide? Frank told me
that he wanted to die in the summer because people can come to see him and he wanted to be cremated.Then Frank told me..."I WANT THE
MARINERS TO PLAY IN THE WORLD SERIES." i TOLD FRANK THAT HE WOULD HAVE TO WAIT...MY BROTHER TOLD ME THIS''VADER..WHERE I AM GOING...THERES NO WAIT.NO PAIN.I CANT WAIT TO GO...LEARN TO LIVE AND APPREICATE LIFE.LIFE IS FOR THE LIVING AND THE DAY WILL COME WHEN WE WILL ALL BE TOGETHER.I AM GOING TO BE WITH GRANDPARENTS,DAD AND MOM..AND VADER...YOU HAVE BEEN A GOOD SISTER.'tHE REASON WHY I REMEMBER IS THAT FRANK MADE A TAPE OF THIS AND SENT IT TO ME AND i AM PLAYING IT NOW LISTENING TO MY BROTHERS VOICE AND WISHED THAT HE WAS HERE..BUT FRANK IS NOT...I HAVE TO LEARN TO LIVE WITHOUT HIM AND IT IS HARD.AND SOMETIMES I FEEL SO LONELY AND DESPAIR KNOWING THAT I CANT SEE OR TALK TO HIM AGAIN.WHEN DOES IT
END? thANKS TO ALL......VADER AND THE CATS..KRAMER AND TOOEY.
Frank told me to live my life and to do the things that I have always wanted to do and do them with him in mind...but today i am at the computer and the
tears are streaming down my face.I miss my brother.My brother was one of the most postivie and happiest persons that I knew in my life.He always found a way to look at the bright side of things.On July 18th,2004...was a sunday.Frank called me.This was unusual for him.I asked him why he was calling me and he told me that he was sick and wanted to die.He told me that he had a good life.He saw everyone that he wanted.Frank told me...You know sis...I saw Joe DiMaggio play and I was the only kid in the class to do so.Daddy saved up all of his pennies for the tickets.Then my beloved Frank began to cry.He told me that he missed Daddy and he realized what a good
father that he was.He told me that he was sorry for being bad sometimes and he regrets it...then Frank told me again..."vader..I want to die." I told Frank not to say this.Frank told me this,,,"Vader...if anything happens to me..YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO LIVE WITHOUT ME.Y0U HAVE TO THINK OF ALL OF THE HAPPY TIMES THAT WE HAD AND KNOW THAT THESE TIMES CANT HAPPEN AGAIN..BUT VADER..PROMISE ME...THAT YOU WILL LEAVE BRAD..BRAD ISNT A NICE PERSON.HE WILL HURT YOU SIS.'" wHEN HE SAID this..I knew Frank was right.Brad had been acting so
weird again..but who knew that he was planning the suicide? Frank told me
that he wanted to die in the summer because people can come to see him and he wanted to be cremated.Then Frank told me..."I WANT THE
MARINERS TO PLAY IN THE WORLD SERIES." i TOLD FRANK THAT HE WOULD HAVE TO WAIT...MY BROTHER TOLD ME THIS''VADER..WHERE I AM GOING...THERES NO WAIT.NO PAIN.I CANT WAIT TO GO...LEARN TO LIVE AND APPREICATE LIFE.LIFE IS FOR THE LIVING AND THE DAY WILL COME WHEN WE WILL ALL BE TOGETHER.I AM GOING TO BE WITH GRANDPARENTS,DAD AND MOM..AND VADER...YOU HAVE BEEN A GOOD SISTER.'tHE REASON WHY I REMEMBER IS THAT FRANK MADE A TAPE OF THIS AND SENT IT TO ME AND i AM PLAYING IT NOW LISTENING TO MY BROTHERS VOICE AND WISHED THAT HE WAS HERE..BUT FRANK IS NOT...I HAVE TO LEARN TO LIVE WITHOUT HIM AND IT IS HARD.AND SOMETIMES I FEEL SO LONELY AND DESPAIR KNOWING THAT I CANT SEE OR TALK TO HIM AGAIN.WHEN DOES IT
END? thANKS TO ALL......VADER AND THE CATS..KRAMER AND TOOEY.
vader
well..kiddies I finally made it.It is the 5 th anniversary of Big E death and I am up again and I feel good and i just made coffee.All I can say is that I miss my brother and Brad and my new friend Carl just dont understand.Carl is my age and he never married but he has 3 brothers all are still living.;He is my friend...that is all.Carl and I met for coffee on ce a week and we discuss every thing.He likes sports..but doesnt like The Yankees....so I still want to keep him as a friend and i cant rush into anything.Brad and I were together for 12 and half years and we had it hard...much of it was Brads......Frank will always be in my heart and thats what Frank was.He was my heart.peace.vader.
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