I just answer "I am trying my best, I have lost my other half, my everything, and I am learning how to walk all over again.... Hugs, Alice

I guess you'd say that I lie. I give the generic "okay". I can't imagine losing a child but I'm grieving the loss of two parents in six months - and my Mom was dependent on me for changing and feeding tube and care towards her last year or so. So, she was like my child towards the end. Sometimes, I guess I just lie. Nobody wants to hear that I'm still grieving. But my face shows it. I still weep openly and regularly.

Wow, I can relate.
Usually, I am very open and forthright.
So, if a person asked me, I would tell them....
A few must be sorry they asked. It could be really depressing to hear.
So, I have learned a new way to handle it.
For co-workers and aquaintences, I keep it short,...."fine thanks, hanging in there, good and you". My true feelings are for good friends and certain family members.
Sorry for your losses this year, with all of that, I am hoping 2009 is a better year for you! Take good care of yourself!

It really depends on who's asking! If it is someone I am really close to then I tell the truth. If it a co-worker or acquaintance then I most likely say that I am okay or fine or something generic. I tend to just say what I think people want to hear. If they really care about me then I tell them the truth. If they are just being polite then I lie! Good luck!

I have found no one wants to hear the truth. I say, "just another day."

Anyone who reaally knows me...understands how I feel...they don'y have to ask.

"THE BEST I CAN!!!" THAT'S MY RESPONSE. THAT OR, "LEARNING WHO BRIAN IS W/OUT CINDY!!!" TELL 'EM THE TRUTH, IF THEY CAN'T HANDLE IT, MAYBE THEY'LL THINK TWICE BEFORE ASKING AGAIN.

Better than yesterday hopefully even better tomorrow. I miss her but I am better.

I have found almost everyone does really want the truth...they just don't always know what to say if we tell them. This way it shows that I am trying to have a healthy positive attitude but I am still greiving as we all do when some passes away that you care deeply for. But shows the hopeful attitude that it isn't going to be extremely painful forever.

Another I sometimes say is that because I have lost so many in death that each is different but not as hard as the very first one. They can understand that. Then go on to say thank you so much for asking. I am getting there.

When they ask most people are compelled to say something just so uncertain of what to say so that they don't make you cry.Or make matters worse...because you might be okay until they ask. So I think that is why some get very uncomfortable.

Rhea

Sometimes the best response is simply "I'm doing..." no specifics.

I answer: "GREAT! how about you?" which throws it right back at them. I really don't think most people really want to hear how I'm doing...they're just trying to be polite. I also feel that if I say "GREAT" enough, I will start to feel great! It all takes time to heal. We have a choice to make...do I want to nurture my pain, or do I want to feel good? You can count on the pain and loss always being there, but you need to make yourself feel better by making the choice to look at the bright side. No one will ever take away the people I have lost...they are in my heart and that's where I want to keep them.

My name is vader and I am older then you and you know something I have heard this question for years.When people ask me this now..all I can say is this..."Did you know that Frank died..and I lost the house to Medicare..I lost everything but I am living in Greenwood with Brad and my 3 cats so I guess I am doing alright>"

Sometimes I just want to look at people and scream" HOW THE HELL WOULD YOU BE DOING IF YOUR SON HAD DIED" but I always just answer very politly with a nod of my head. I don't think that people stop and think how much impact a simple question con have on someone who has suffered a loss

Hi All,

Its been not quite 2 mo since my beloved partner died. I just joined the grieg groups a few days ago, Been on Ds a few yrs I think now?

Anyways,I oftentimes just say: " I've been better & I've been worse, how about yrself?" Honestly, most folks just dont KNOW what to ask or say no matter what response we give or not at all.........death scares so many folks!!! Blessings & light & healing a day at a time to all fellow grieving ones here, Lets hope 2009 will bring some positive things and chnages .......

Namaste, Jess