I had to write this column because it is so important that people tend to the needs of the elderly people.Some elderly people now get into a bind after they lose their husband and this is what happened to my Mother.My father died on November 1st,1987.It was just a shock to her and she did not know how to react.My mother was a widow at 69 years old and she never wrote a check in her life.She never knew how to make a deposit and she never learned how to use a debit card.She was left to be alone and she did not know how to do certain things.My father did everything including the financial means of the house and he tried to show her,,but she wasnt interested.My mother was left and all alone because when my father died..some people did not come over anymore.My mother was dropped like a hot potato and she did not know why.We were not invited to the baptism of cousin because it got around to us that we had no money.My mother was very hurt and this is happening quite often,,but the truth of the matter is.She did not want to go.I did not want to go either.I had no clothes.And I just started to work at a new job and I had no money.But my mother did not want to spend the money on gas then and she was right.I took care of my mother and brother for two years.I stayed home and was almost broke and noone helped me at all.In 1995,when I moved to seattle,I had no phone or mail service.I was working a great deal of part time jobs and I was living in a rooming house.I did not have it bad,but Mother did.Frank got in touch with me via my voice mail and he told me that Mother was in the hospital.This was the 2nd time she was in and I had to wait until I got paid.I left seattle the very next day and it takes me 3 days to go home.When I arrived home for a visit.I was hit by a thunderbolt! The house was absolutely filthy and that included my room as well.There were papers all over the house,not to mention dishes.There were piles of dishes even in the bathtub and I had to clean it all.Mother began to collect all of these old papers.These people she did not know and this is one of the first signs.The second sign was her lack of grooming.She always prided herself on her hair.But stopped combin her hair and it looked like a goth kid and she stopped doing personal hygiene.I knew that mother was depressed,but in 1987..there was no help.I tried to get help for her and I was told to mind my own business.I saw in the garbadge a bunch of bills.She wasnt even paying the car insurance.I found out that she was going to the Atlantic City everyday and then on the week-end they would go to the tracks.She owed a great deal of money and she left everything go.But my other brother came and when he saw the mess,he knew what was going on.My brother is an accountant and she asked him to pay some bills,but he heard that she was about to lose the house..Guess what? My other brother paid the taxes and all! He consulted a lawyer and told him the situation and the lawyer told him that she could not be declard i ncompent.It had to have a hearing and she refused..but she told this lawyer she wanted him to take care of all of the bills.After the judge heard her case and saw all of her bills,she told her that it would be wise if her bills were paid by her son and this is what she agreed on.But my mother was just to far gone.Then the reality come across.My mother had developed a drinking problem.She would drink all day long and she would be drunk at 10 0 clock in the morning.In 1999,at christmas in the city of New York..she was waiting for the light.While,doing this..a car came out of nowhere and crashed into her car.It was a head on collision.The car was red ,but who knows! They did not even stay.SHe was left in the car and she was trapped and she was over the steering wheel.Mother had suffered a stroke like Grace Kelly and what happened was a fireman was on his break and saw the whole thing.He immediately came over and gave her care.He did not touch my mother..she was trapped.They had to have the Jaws Of Life take her from the car.She was unconscious.In the ambulance she was going in and out of it,my other brother was in Pennsylavia when this happened.ANd he cut his vacation.She was on a respirator and things did not look good.They gave her the last rites of the church and Frank was screaming every day.He was hysterical.When she awoke it was on a few days after xmas and she did not know where she was at all or even her name.All of this could have been prevented if my mother went to the doctor for help.She suffered a shock and this went into a depression and it almost cost her life.And this is to all of the ladies in the group..please heed this column..We are taught to be sweet,kind and nice and never complain about our problems.This is a very bad thing to do.You cannot be nice and kind all the time.If something is wrong and you ignore it,like my mother did..it will almost cost you her life.SO Speak up! Ask for that extra 10.00! Speak up!Ask for help in the house.Do it! Because the life that you save maybe your own.Thanks.Vader.